My instincts, on the other hand, are almost always right about everything.
02. Depression thinks I'm fat.
This is a great reason to do an inordinate amount of situps and/or pushups just because it's a day that ends with "y."
This is a horrible reason to avoid food for days at a time.
03. Depression thinks I'm no good at making friends. Proving him wrong (which, by the way, easier than you might think) is fun -- fun for me, and fun for my new friends. Everybody wins! Except, of course, for Depression, who loses because he is a loser. And a fuckface.
Also, has anyone else noticed how much more my old friends love me since I got out of group? 'Cause it's a lot.
04. Depression is very very scary, but I AM FUCKING FEARLESS.
05. Depression is weaker than I am. Even when he's at his strongest, he is never even one-tenth as strong as I am on my very weakest day (proof: April 24th). This is because he has no power that I don't give him, and my spirit is indomitable.
06. Depression put up quite a fight, but I won. I saved myself.
He's a pretty sore loser. He's also an idiot. He refuses to admit that he's lost. But fighting him is easier than ever, even when he whips out the most effective attacks in his arsenal, because I don't listen to him anymore. I listen to myself now. I remind myself of everything he ruined for me, and everything he very nearly almost but not quite totally ruined for me, that I have worked so hard (and am still working) to regain.
Also, silly as it sounds, picturing him as a demon I have to fight really helps a lot. Dad was onto something when he said, "Kill him like he tried to kill you."
07. Look how happy I am without him:
So I have been reading all of your posts and I want to say that I love them all. It is great to see that you are doing so well. We had a major storm the other day and I thought of you and how you like storms. Contact me if you need anything.
ReplyDeleteI love this. It is so true and very inspirational. Contact me if you ever wanna chat? My e mail is sassy_buffy1@hotmail.com. xxx
ReplyDeleteYou look...neckly hollow, but I'm not sure about happy. I hope you are, and you have as much right as any other good looking guy to be happy, but I hope you really are.
ReplyDelete!McAwsm
LAURA! Oh my God, it's so great to hear from you! Are you going to be back in Indy this fall? Candra and I have had lunch together twice since she graduated, and it would be awesome if you could join us sometime!
ReplyDeleteI'm jealous that y'all had a storm. People keep saying that we're supposed to have one sometime soon, but it keeps not happening. Grr.
It would be great to hear from you any time, but I can honestly say that I don't need anything right now (although, if you happen to have a bag full of hundred-dollar bills that you need to get rid of . . .) -- work is great, my friends are great, I've been exercising, I'm actually sleeping through the night, I've decided to let things between me and Mom just be for the moment, I'm collecting Ponies again, etc. The only thing in my whole life that's not quite as awesome as I would like it to be-- well, the point is that I'm not letting it drag me down because, even though I really really really want it to be better, I have far too many awesome things going on. So I'm focusing on those.
LOVE.
SARAH BELLHOUSE! I have no idea who you are, but I'm so so so glad you found this inspirational!
ReplyDeleteANDREW! Fuck you, silly, you KNOW I've been fucking ecstatic for the past month! Which I apparently cannot convey on camera, huh? There goes my modeling career, I guess. Oh well, Plan B.
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, I love you and I'm glad you're reading. Just like old times, huh? Except, you know, infinitely better.