Saturday, August 31, 2013

Animorphs: 31 Reasons I Will Always, Always, Always Love It

1. Cassie & Rachel are two of the greatest Girls Who Kick Ass in the history of fiction, and they both exemplify the trope in completely different ways:

    - Rachel (who, if she hadn't been born in the wrong universe, would've made an excellent Slayer) becomes a soldier in the war against the Yeerks and, not to put too fine a point on it, finds her purpose in life. She has such an extraordinary knack for fighting, and such a pronounced affinity for violence, that her friends worry about her and her enemies attempt to recruit her. At one point, Jake - who has known her longer than any of the others because they're cousins - tells her that he cannot imagine her making it through the war and settling down to have any sort of normal life. Ever.
    Also, there was that one time when she was in grizzly morph and her paw got sliced off, so she picked it up and used it to bludgeon her enemies to death.

    - And then, on a completely different hand, there's Cassie. She's not nearly as much of a traditional "action girl" - although, when you're in a WAR against parasitic mind-controlling evil ALIENS and you have the ability to turn into a WOLF, obviously you are going to become a completely capable combatant whether you want to or not - because she is quite possibly the nicest person on the planet who is not actually Mother Teresa. If Rachel is the strong one and Marco is the funny one, etc., Cassie is very much "the sensitive one"; she usually prefers to be around animals, but she gets people. She understands them. Inside and out. Instantly.
    Which eventually leads to her becoming a manipulative bastard who can do what needs to be done to protect her friends. Who figures out every little part of the plan to get rid of David without actually killing him (although you could argue that her solution is far worse than murder)? Cassie. Who figures out how to stop Visser Four (by doing something that is absolutely far, far worse than murder)? Cassie.
    Also, book twenty-nine, The Sickness. After completing the mission all by herself, she comes home and performs brain surgery on Ax. Who is an alien. GIRL GETS SHIT DONE.
    (And I'm not even going to talk about Back to Before.)

2. SEAGULLS.

3. Pretty much everything Ax has ever said about anything. For example:
    "Evidently I am insane. May I go now?"
    "Is it not time for cookies?"
    "Yellow is the color of warning. I do not know why."
    "Please make every effort not to drop me!"
    "Cinnamon buns. Zuh. Bun-zuh."

4. If there's one thing to be learned from these books, it's that war is hell. Even though the series is supposedly intended for seven- to twelve-year-olds, the writers do not pull any punches while getting this point across.
    I especially appreciate the scene where the kids are having a wacky time travel adventure and find themselves stuck in a slightly different version of World War II; Ax, who is an alien, assumes that the Jews were an opposing army.

5. The plot twists! If you can read book one and guess any of the things that are revealed in The Andalite Chronicles - or read book five and guess any of the things that are revealed in Visser, etc. - YOU ARE A WITCH.

6. In the second Megamorphs book, the kids find out that broccoli is not native to Earth.

7. All six Animorphs frequently remind the readers that flying is absolutely the coolest thing ever; even Tobias, who you'd think might get used to it since he's a bird all the time, gets way excited about thermals.

8. The David trilogy: Never have I ever been so afraid that someone might actually kill any of the Animorphs. Yeah, Visser Three had all sorts of terrifying alien morphs that could eat lions and tigers and bears in one gulp, but he didn't know their secrets.

9. Well, duh: The Animorphs! Jake, Cassie, Marco, Ax, Tobias, and Rachel are some of my very favorite fictional characters in the history of, well, fiction. Other fans enjoy a good lengthy debate about why they're fond of this character or that one and don't care very much for this one or these two; intellectually, I can see where they're coming from, but emotionally, I just can't do it. Choosing a favorite Animorph would be like choosing a favorite Pony. They all have their own strengths and their own flaws, and I thoroughly love each and every one of them.

10. Hey, kids! Wanna get your mom's approval to listen to NIN? It's easy! Just tell her that their initials stand for . . . Nice Is Neat!

11. In the very first book, Jake (who is white) (and Jewish) tells the reader that he's had a crush on Cassie (who is black) for a long time. Over the course of the series, the two of them kind-of-sort-of-pretty-much fall in love. You can count on one hand the number of times that anyone ever made any sort of big deal about the fact that they were an interracial couple, and that number is . . . zero.

12. Speaking of racial tension! There's a thoroughly excellent scene in Elfangor's Secret (one of their wackiest wacky time travel adventures ever) where the kids are trying to get information about what year it is, why Einstein hasn't happened, etc., from a guy who doesn't want to help them because Cassie is (gasp) colored.
    So she very kindly tells him that, naturally, she'd be more than happy to turn white, if that'll make him more comfortable.
    And then she morphs a polar bear.
    He quickly tells them everything they need to know after that.

13. Almost everything about book seventeen, The Underground. To this day, it still makes me laugh my ass off an average of once every other page: Lucy Lawless, Happy Meals with extra happy, instant maple and ginger oatmeal, the nuthouse, etc.

14. When Katherine & Michael were planning the series, they decided that, if they were going to write about kids who could turn into animals, they would have to come up with "worthy" villains. THEY DID. Even though I fully understood that the books were absolutely fiction, the Yeerks and the Taxxons both gave me nightmares on multiple occasions.

15. The Ellimist Chronicles, which, without saying who, made it clear that one of the Animorphs was going to die. (You might think that being warned about the death would make it somewhat less emotional for the reader. It doesn't. The character's last line is, "I wondered if ---".)

16. "Do you just HATE TRASH CANS?"

17. Personally, I've always thought that shapeshifting must be one of the coolest, most badass superpowers ever. This series is probably one of the strongest examples to support that theory.

18. "People say I'm pretty, and I guess I'm okay. People say I'm self-confident, and I know that's true."

19. All six Animorphs have different reasons for fighting the Yeerks: Ax has grown up hating them because he's an Andalite, Rachel is an action junkie, Tobias just knows it's the right thing to do, Cassie really cares about the planet, Jake wants to save his brother, and Marco . . . well, Marco's reason is something of a shock.

20. "You see our might and tremble!"
    "I see your might. Where's your tremble?"

21. Jake and Marco's arguments, re: Batman vs. Spider-Man.

22. It's not exactly a huge recurring theme, but Marco is a Buffy fan.

23. Rachel's allergy to the crocodile morph. Is it the most original idea in the history of ideas? Maybe not, but it's still just freaking cool.

24. Obviously, it's completely ridiculous to expect six kids to fight off an alien invasion and ever have any hope of, you know, winning. The characters fully realize this, and discuss it all the time; Marco in particular seems to whine about the injustice of it all at least once every other book.

25. In book twenty-eight (which, being narrated by Ax, is one of the most hilarious books in the series), the Yeerks concoct a serum to take away free will and make it that much easier to turn humans into Controllers. Everyone else freaks out about this, but Cassie scoffs, insisting that it's flat-out impossible to get rid of free will.
    She's right.

26. "I have a saying for you. I got it from a fortune cookie. 'Fall down seven times, get up eight.' You know what that means? That means you don't ever just lie there. You always get up. You always come back for more. You never surrender. Maybe you die, but you never surrender."

27. Pretty much any book narrated by Marco, really. KAA has said that he's her favorite character to write for, and it shows. Not that books narrated by Jake, Cassie, Ax, Tobias, or Rachel are any less good, but she clearly had fun every time she gave him a line.
    Also, I just love his entire arc. Even when it's heartbreaking. Especially when it's heartbreaking.

28. "Live free or die!"

29. The fourth Megamorphs book, Back to Before. I can't even talk about it (MAJOR SPOILERS - not that spoilers are a huge deal for an out-of-print, hard-to-find book that was released more than a decade ago), but it looks at what would've happened if Jake, Cassie, Marco, Tobias, and Rachel had never walked home through the abandoned construction site, never met Elfangor, and never received the morphing power. It's basically a fanboy's wet dream.
    Particularly this one scene where the Drode points out that, by making sure the Animorphs included a great leader like Jake, Elfangor's little brother, Elfangor's son, the son of Visser One's host body, and Cassie (SPOILER), the Ellimist cheated and gave the good guys a few unfair advantages. Rachel is implied to be a happy accident.
    (Well, not that much of an accident, as she is Jake's cousin and Cassie's best friend, but.)

30. "My closest friends think I'm fearless. They're wrong about that. People without fear are just insane. I have plenty of fear in my life. Some days I feel afraid from the moment I wake up in the morning till my last nightmare at night.
    "But the thing about fear is you can't be afraid of it. I know that sounds confusing. I guess what I mean is, be afraid if you have to, right? Fear is like this vicious little worm that lives inside you and eats you alive. You have to fight it. You have to know it's there. You have to accept that you'll never get rid of it, but fight it just the same. Brave isn't about not being afraid. It's about being scared to death and still not giving in."

31. "But mostly, I remembered what I've always believed. What my mom taught me. That while some things are just plain awful, most things in life can be seen either as tragic or comic. And it's your choice. Is life a big, long, tiresome slog from sadness to regret to guilt to resentment to self-pity? Or is life weird, outrageous, bizarre, ironic, and just stupid?
    "Gotta go with stupid."

Bitchcraft

Just had a thought:

It would really suck out loud if the transformation(s) I've been going through since I got the fuck out of Indiana weren't allowed to happen because I have "too much" reputation as a bitch.

Fortunately, I'm way too powerful of a bitch to let myself worry about what other people do or don't think about me.

(See what I did there? "Bitch" can pretty much mean whatever you want it to mean, especially if you are one.)

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

The Vampire Diaries: Seven Reasons I Quit Giving Any Fucks

1. Basically, I was watching the wrong show and holding my breath.

To clarify: I've been familiar with the book series since I was twelve (well, as "familiar" as any twelve-year-old who spends an inordinate amount of time at the local library will be familiar with any and all paperbacks just from reading the back covers) and, even to my twelve-year-old brain, it sounded stupid. Book!Elena eventually dies, then comes back as a vampire, then dies again, then comes back as an angel with different sets of wings that do different sorts of magic. Also, Bonnie and Damon hook up.

When I finally decided to give the show half a chance, it was purely because I happened to find out that the main character's best friend is a witch.

So, what with me being me and all, I really wanted the show to be more like The Witch Journals or The Magical Misadventures of Bonnie Bennett. It . . . isn't. The cold difficult fact of the matter is that this show exists because The CW wanted to cash in on the enormous popularity of Twilight (which, for reasons that should be obvious, I find appalling).

In retrospect, I guess I always knew the whole "oh, but the main character's best friend is a witch!" thing wasn't ever going to be enough, no matter how hard I hoped.

Not that I'm bitter.


2. The finale's "shocking Salvatore secret" . . . is shit, shit, shit.

Despite having heaps of potential, season four sucked (ha-ha, vampire joke) for a lot of reasons that were incredibly frustrating (Bonnie is still not allowed to do anything even though various characters start spouting off about how she could easily become the most powerful witch alive; Caroline is stuck in the middle of a bloody awful love triangle; Caroline is never allowed to kick any ass; the sire bond; Misery Porn), but the most what-the-fuck was the reveal that Stefan is actually a doppelganger of Silas. This had never even been hinted at until the last five minutes of the season, and it makes me want to vomit for two reasons:

a) Stefan was and is and always will be, hands-down, one of the most boring characters on this show. That's not my opinion, that's SCIENCE.

b) Of the three main actors, Paul Wesley is definitely, absolutely, incontrovertibly the very worst. He's successful because he has a classically handsome face and, well, let's just say it, he is ripped. He would make an excellent model (or, even more excellent, a gay-for-pay porn star), but his co-stars are extreme examples of how to be ridiculously hot AND have spooky amounts of acting ability (Nina Dobrev is probably the most stunning; one expects she'll go on to be the biggest star after the show is finally over, while some of the others fade into obscurity), and, completely unintentionally, they make him look bad every single week. That sounds really harsh, but you know I'm right.


3. The Perpetual Love Triangle That Goes On and On Forever Without Ever Really Getting Resolved

For some asinine reason, the "heart" of the show has always been the fucked-up whatever that's going on between Elena, Stefan, and Damon. After four years (though only two have passed in-universe), this is still the case.

All I'm saying is, the show would be a lot better if the "main" characters were Elena, Bonnie, and Caroline. This seems so obvious to me that I don't even know how to talk about it.

I guess part of the problem is that I've never been a huge fan of love triangles. You're lucky enough to have TWO incredibly gorgeous guys who are hopelessly in love with you, and you can't shut up and pick one? Whatever, go get torn apart by panthers or something. We have no use for you here in Ryanville.

Also, it would make too much sense if she told both of them to leave her alone and let her figure things out on her own for a bit. This would make even more sense now that she is finally adjusting to being a vampire without eating people or doing whatever Damon tells her.


4. The Rise and Fall of Caroline Forbes

Sigh.

In season one, although she did make us want to give her a hug sometimes (Candice Accola has an uncanny ability to make her audience cry like little bitches, which the writers wisely utilized as early as the very first episode), she was kind of a rude, insensitive, vapid, tacky, clingy, jealous bitch - so much so that you honestly wondered why Elena and Bonnie were still friends with her.

In season two, defying all logic, she became a vampire and . . . turned into a better person. A much better person. She blazed through her transition ("transition" can be read as a nice way of saying "learning how to be a terrifying nightmare monster who must drink blood to survive, but does not actually go around eating people") faster than any other vampire in the history of the show; she used her newfound strength & speed to rearrange the face of anyone who looked at her friends the wrong way; she almost made Tyler interesting; and, most importantly, less than twenty-four hours after being turned, she kicked the crap out of Damon (more on that in a minute).

These days, all she's allowed to do is . . . be in the middle of a love triangle between Tyler (boooooooooooooring) and Klaus (who, as "the oldest vampire in the history of time," has single-handedly killed more people than Hitler). Unless I am very much mistaken, the last time she kicked any ass was in the fourth episode of season three ("I'm stronger than you, little girl!"/"Well, I'm angrier!").

And hey, speaking of Caroline's wasted potential . . .


5. Rape is totally okay if the guy gets away with it because he can use his superpowers to make you forget it ever happened.

Yes, rape.

In season one, back when she was still human, Caroline had sex with Damon.

I'm sorry, that's misleading. Damon used her, pure and simple. He compelled the fuck out of her (literally) because he was lonely and horny. This is despicable enough, but he also turned her into a spy and an errand girl, and (of course) fed on her whenever he felt like it. On one of the v-e-r-y rare occasions when they were together and she seemed to know what was going on, she asked him (in her most pitiable voice), "Are you going to kill me?"

His response was, "Not yet."

Anyway.

When she turned, the very first thing she did with her vamp strength was find him, kick him down the hall, and coldly explain that she remembered everything he had ever done to her and he couldn't touch her ever again.

A few episodes later, all is apparently forgiven.

He doesn't ask for forgiveness, she doesn't offer forgiveness, they're just kind of inexplicably chums now because, you know, they're both part of the gang.

Neither of them ever discuss this with any other characters, so it is perhaps understandable that no one tears him a new one on her behalf. But seriously, the writers - who have apparently expected the audience to worship him since word one simply because, you know, All Girls Want Bad Boys - could have done A LOT with this story, instead of just letting it fade away.

P.S. Caroline celebrated her eighteenth birthday in season three.


6. Racism?

Okay, I am not saying Julie Plec (co-creator, who has been sole showrunner for the last two years, I think) missed her calling as a recruiter for the KKK, but let's think about this for half a second:

Point to any black character on the show. Light-skinned, dark-skinned, major player, bit part, any black character at all. Chances are, that character is a) a witch who is b) related to Bonnie and will c) die horribly. There are occasionally black characters who are not related to Bonnie, but they inevitably get killed off before we have half a chance to get to know them. In four years, the show has introduced two black characters who were allowed to survive: Lucy, who only appeared in one episode despite promising Bonnie that they'd meet again soon, and Bonnie's dad, who . . . well, let's just say his impact on the plot is so small that I can't remember his name. (Elena and Jeremy's parents, who die before the show starts, are Miranda and Grayson. I did not have to look that up.)

It's especially frustrating because most black characters are witches. So it makes absolutely no sense for them to get killed, ever, since - and I say this with no exaggeration - they are the most powerful people on the show: Even if you ignore everything else they can do (not to mention the fact that vampires and werewolves wouldn't exist without them), there is no getting around the fact that all witches can move things with their minds. Bonnie gets the hang of this faster than any other sort of magic; merely by walking into the scene, any and all physical confrontations should instantly end in her favor. Damon's threatening to eat somebody? Nope, Damon can't move. Everybody go home. Klaus is ruining people's lives again? Nope, Klaus is stuck to the ceiling. Everybody go home. Elena is trying to bite Bonnie because Stefan asked Damon to turn her into a psycho-bitch? Nope, Elena is writhing around on the ground- oh wait, THAT ONE ACTUALLY HAPPENED.

And yet, one after another after another, witches get themselves killed in horribly horrible ways because they forget about their own powers. Despite her status as a main character, despite the fact that every storyline she's ever been given has had something to do with being a witch, despite finding out that she might be the most powerful witch in the whole wide world, Bonnie is never actually allowed to use magic unless it will explicitly help Elena or Jeremy or one of the other (white) main characters.

It makes me sick.

And hey, speaking of Bonnie . . .


7. DING-DONG, THE WITCH IS DEAD

In retrospect, I suppose it was inevitable.

The thing is, she's not "just" my favorite character. It really does seem to me that she should have been the show's hero. Why does it seem that way, you ask? Well, it's simple . . .

a) She is the ONLY human character who finds out that vampires are real and thinks it might be a good idea to kill them before they kill everyone in town.

b) Even before anyone starts up with the "most powerful witch alive" stuff, the simple fact of being a witch makes her the only character who can reasonably be expected to protect the town from vampires.
- When Klaus shows up, the best plan that anyone can come up with basically boils down to "get out of the way and let Bonnie do some witchcraft in his general direction."

c) Her mentor teaches her everything she needs to know about the basics of her own power, then dies. This is a trope for a reason.

d) Her first name is Bonnie. Her last name is Bennett. (Note that her last name was McCullough in the books, where she was neither a witch nor the only person of color in town.) So, etymologically speaking, she's a good person who has been blessed.

And yet, when she finally decides to make magic work for her, rather than the other way around (we all knew her "I am done getting pushed around by all of you" moment in the season three finale wasn't going to last), it fucking kills her.

Which would be bad enough, but she did it to resurrect her (white) ex-boyfriend who cheated on her.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love Jeremy Gilbert. Really and truly and forever (er, I love him in a fictional character sort of way, not a "we should hold hands and go to the movies" way) (although I would totally hold hands and go to the movies with Steven R. McQueen, absolutely) (especially if holding hands and going to the movies was code for getting naked). His relationship with Elena was the first thing about the show to make me go from "it can't be a complete waste of time if the main character's best friend is a witch" to "alright, this is some good catharsis right here" to "these people could easily become some of my favorite fictional characters ever," and watching them team up to kill Kol was one of the best parts of this season.

But the fact remains that he died a natural death. And the other fact remains that this is a show with "vampire" in the title. The writers could've invented any way to bring him back (which I don't think they should have done, as the episode right after his death, in which Elena slowly comes to accept that he's actually dead, was the best episode of the season, and possibly the best episode of the series - to reiterate my earlier point, Nina Dobrev brought it) . . . but no, they decided to kill their hero.

Of course, Bonnie isn't "really" dead, is she? Kat Graham is still supposed to be a main cast member next season, she'll just be a ghost! And hey, thanks to Bonnie Jeremy can talk to ghosts, so it's not like she'll be totally lonely, right?

The problem with this is that, as much as we all love him, as much as there's no denying that they clearly still care about each other even after their breakup, as much as they've both had zero romantic tension with anyone else all season, Jeremy is the ex-boyfriend who cheated on her (with another ghost, ironically).

So, intentionally or otherwise, the message that we can gather from The Vampire Diaries is that, as a person of color, even if you have enough potential to fill the Grand Canyon, the most heroic thing you can do, ever, is sacrifice yourself so a white boy can live.

I know, that sounds kind of extreme. But seriously, shut up and re-read Reason 6 and tell me I'm wrong. Tell me this show hasn't been subtly racist since it started. Tell me Bonnie wasn't supposed to be the hero. Tell me she had to die. Go on and tell me.

So yes, in a nutshell, this one reason is why I have to stop watching the show.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

15 Reasons Seattle is Better than Indy

(Please note that this list could more accurately be titled 15 Reasons Seattle is Better FOR RYAN BISH than Indy; for you, Indianapolis may be the greatest place on the planet, and that's completely okay. Feel free to write your own list, if the mood strikes you. But personally, I was miserable in Indiana, and, even a month after the fact, getting out still makes me happier than anyone would've thought possible.)

1. Well, for starters: Drinking the water won't kill you. I mean, I don't actually know for a fact that drinking the water in Indy will literally kill you - do I look like a fucking scientist? - but I lived there for five years, in three different apartments, in two vastly different parts of town. One thing they all had in common was Disturbing Activity in the Water. All I'm saying is, this is not an issue in Seattle.

2. Speaking of water, the ocean Puget Sound is RIGHT THERE. Which leads to . . .

3. SEAGULLS. Yes, yes, and yes. Okay, they might not be quite as exciting for anyone who hasn't read Animorphs as often as I have, but it should still be bloody obvious that these are inherently funny birds.

4. Another perk to having the ocean right there? It smells better. Like, a lot better.
True story: When I visited back in February, the smell was pretty much more than enough to make me sure that I didn't wanna go home. When I did, I was telling Tony about the smell, and he told me that, while I was gone, some random customer had just recently told him about a study which found that the air in Indiana is almost so bad that it's killing everybody. I haven't actually, you know, researched this or anything. But I find it very easy to believe.

5. So, so, so many truly terribly totally boring Indy people (example: Roger) are approximately 1,868 miles away. I never have to talk to them, or even be in the same general area, ever again. EVER. Sorry, I'm finding it really hard not to smile like the Joker as I type this.

6. It's so much easier to get around without a car - you can take a bus, a train, a light rail, a water ferry, or I'm not even sure what else. Public transit is serious business, and much less confusing than you might think. (This may have some tiny something to do with why it smells so much better than Indy.) For the first time in my adult life, my serious distaste for cars is a complete non-issue. A better writer than me would struggle to find the right words to express how good this feels.

7. This may be somewhat difficult to swallow if you knew me as the Wicked Bitch of the Midwest, but moving here has made me mellow, and not just a little bit. Again, I can't really put it into words, but the point is, I haven't been this round-the-clock happy since I "graduated" from therapy two years ago.

8. Well, obviously, if you happen to a photographer, Seattle is slightly more inspiring than Indianapolis. Slightly.

9. My BFF is moving to LA before this year is over, so I'll be just a hop and a skip away! Also, three of my other best friends already live here, but more about that in a minute.

10. We all know there's basically zero chance that I will ever get married . . . but at least it's legal here.

11. As is, you know, something else.

12. There's a reason no one calls Indianapolis the Emerald City.

13. When I was in middle school, one of my favorite authors (other than Neal Shusterman) was Jean Thesman. At least one of her books, The Ornament Tree, was set here. As far as I can recall, none of my favorite books from middle school took place in Indiana. So there's that.

14. I don't want to get all sappy, but: "The spark ignited inside me when I realized that you all are my friends." If you're reading this, you know who you are.

15. And finally:

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

So I Saw Equestria Girls

(If you haven't seen it yet, you might want to stop reading. There will be spoilers.)

"Numbered thoughts are organized thoughts," yes? Here we go . . .

  1. You know, as soon as I heard about this movie, I couldn't help but think, Okay, I haven't read fanfic since before I was old enough to drink, but this sounds like fanfic. And it does. Which is not exactly a bad thing, but there is now a High School AU that's canon.
  2. When you stop and think about it for longer than half a second, the title really makes no sense. The entire point is that it doesn't take place in Equestria. But it does sound better than, for example, My Little Pony: High School is Tough!
  3. Sunset Shimmer was pretty awesome. I wish we could've seen more of her.
  4. Speaking of Sunset Shimmer, just in case it wasn't quite obvious enough that she's a foil to Twilight Sparkle . . . her VA has been Twilight's singing voice since season one! Meta.
  5. I am so, so, SO glad that, if this absolutely had to happen, Hasbro was smart enough to go with an Amazing Technicolor Population sort of thing. 
  6. Okay, so the Element of Magic is missing and Equestria is potentially in big huge scary danger because of this. So the best - nay, the only - way to recover the crown is to . . . win a popularity contest? Okay, Twilight. 
  7. Also, what's with Sunset Shimmer? She steals the Element of Magic and brings it to another universe, but then she drops it and it's locked up in the principal's office, and she never thinks to steal it again? She intends to use it to take over Equestria, but stealing it twice is a no-no?
  8. Furthermore, how stupid is she? Magic is clearly not going to work as well as it should without the other five Elements.
  9. Speaking of! Unless you're already familiar with the Elements of Harmony, you're going to have no idea what's going on when they show up. It isn't really spelled out, or even implied, why and how Rainbow Dash represents Loyalty, Rarity is Generosity, etc., so you basically get to just take Twilight's word for it. (Although "Pinkie Pie = Laughter" should make sense.)
  10. I was VERY happy with the whole transformation scene. If there was one thing I wanted from a movie about humanized versions of the Mane Six, it was a drawn-out Magical Girl power-up. I refused to watch the movie on YouTube, preferring to wait for the DVD and enjoy it with two of my favorite people on the planet, but I watched this scene several times beforehand. I got chills the first time I saw it.
  11. Wait a damn second. If Twilight was able to call on all the Elements when only one of them was physically present, why couldn't she just, you know, summon it back to Equestria?
  12. Cadance didn't have a human counterpart. This made me happy.
  13. Best line of the whole movie? THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE's one and only speaking part. This should come as no surprise.
  14. Poor Rainbow Dash is just kind of . . . there. If all six Elements weren't needed to defeat Sunset Shimmer, she could've been left out of the story entirely without changing anything too terribly much.
  15. "Helping Twilight Win the Crown" is no "Winter Wrap Up" or "At the Gala" or "Smile, Smile, Smile" . . . but, oh my goodness, it is CATCHY AS HELL.
  16. Moral of the story? This was cute and all, but ultimately it just made me even more anxious for season four. Is it November 23rd yet? Good thing Patience is not an Element of Harmony.
P.S. The human versions of the Cutie Mark Crusaders? Totally adorable.

Just Saying

GASP.

This toy -
- which, ob.vi.ous.ly, is one of the most amazing action figures ever made, will be released on October 1st of this year.

The day after that is October 2nd.

The day after that is October 3rd.

And the day after that, October 4th, is MY BIRTHDAY.

So, yes. Just saying.

P.S. As much as I want/need/have to have this one, I really want Sailor Jupiter. Who is coming, eventually; Ami will be released in December, so you'd think we'll get Rei in February or March, and then Makoto around April or May. I mean, I fully intend to get them all, but she is my absolute favorite.