Thursday, August 15, 2013

15 Reasons Seattle is Better than Indy

(Please note that this list could more accurately be titled 15 Reasons Seattle is Better FOR RYAN BISH than Indy; for you, Indianapolis may be the greatest place on the planet, and that's completely okay. Feel free to write your own list, if the mood strikes you. But personally, I was miserable in Indiana, and, even a month after the fact, getting out still makes me happier than anyone would've thought possible.)

1. Well, for starters: Drinking the water won't kill you. I mean, I don't actually know for a fact that drinking the water in Indy will literally kill you - do I look like a fucking scientist? - but I lived there for five years, in three different apartments, in two vastly different parts of town. One thing they all had in common was Disturbing Activity in the Water. All I'm saying is, this is not an issue in Seattle.

2. Speaking of water, the ocean Puget Sound is RIGHT THERE. Which leads to . . .

3. SEAGULLS. Yes, yes, and yes. Okay, they might not be quite as exciting for anyone who hasn't read Animorphs as often as I have, but it should still be bloody obvious that these are inherently funny birds.

4. Another perk to having the ocean right there? It smells better. Like, a lot better.
True story: When I visited back in February, the smell was pretty much more than enough to make me sure that I didn't wanna go home. When I did, I was telling Tony about the smell, and he told me that, while I was gone, some random customer had just recently told him about a study which found that the air in Indiana is almost so bad that it's killing everybody. I haven't actually, you know, researched this or anything. But I find it very easy to believe.

5. So, so, so many truly terribly totally boring Indy people (example: Roger) are approximately 1,868 miles away. I never have to talk to them, or even be in the same general area, ever again. EVER. Sorry, I'm finding it really hard not to smile like the Joker as I type this.

6. It's so much easier to get around without a car - you can take a bus, a train, a light rail, a water ferry, or I'm not even sure what else. Public transit is serious business, and much less confusing than you might think. (This may have some tiny something to do with why it smells so much better than Indy.) For the first time in my adult life, my serious distaste for cars is a complete non-issue. A better writer than me would struggle to find the right words to express how good this feels.

7. This may be somewhat difficult to swallow if you knew me as the Wicked Bitch of the Midwest, but moving here has made me mellow, and not just a little bit. Again, I can't really put it into words, but the point is, I haven't been this round-the-clock happy since I "graduated" from therapy two years ago.

8. Well, obviously, if you happen to a photographer, Seattle is slightly more inspiring than Indianapolis. Slightly.

9. My BFF is moving to LA before this year is over, so I'll be just a hop and a skip away! Also, three of my other best friends already live here, but more about that in a minute.

10. We all know there's basically zero chance that I will ever get married . . . but at least it's legal here.

11. As is, you know, something else.

12. There's a reason no one calls Indianapolis the Emerald City.

13. When I was in middle school, one of my favorite authors (other than Neal Shusterman) was Jean Thesman. At least one of her books, The Ornament Tree, was set here. As far as I can recall, none of my favorite books from middle school took place in Indiana. So there's that.

14. I don't want to get all sappy, but: "The spark ignited inside me when I realized that you all are my friends." If you're reading this, you know who you are.

15. And finally:

No comments:

Post a Comment