Tuesday, September 3, 2013

The Internet: Letting Dumb People Feel Unafraid To Be Themselves Since Before Hipsters Were Cool

So I gave this guy my number and said he should text me sometime because I was bored; he wasn't even that hot and his reply was this:

       I don't want you hacking into my computer and intercepting my mail and I don't think the operators of the site would really like that either. So please delete all my emails and don't contact me again or interfere with my transmissions. 

All I'm saying is, if you're "still" single and you take yourself this seriously, well, I'm sorry 'bout your face, but you're probably "still" single b-e-c-a-u-s-e you take yourself this seriously.

P.S. The Black Girl Stare that I am casting in your general direction is so severe that it really ought to fill you with terror.
     Then again, a phone number legitimately does fill you with terror, so maybe your soul interprets a Black Girl Stare as a sign that I'm super into you. In which case, your soul is fucking mistaken.

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