Monday, August 1, 2011

Simple Ways Hasbro Could Be Making SO MUCH MORE MONEY

Once upon a time in the 1980s, My Little Pony (briefly) sold better than Barbie.

[NOTE: I'm not actually 100% sure if this is true, although I could swear I've read it before several times -- when I tried to find it somewhere to verify it for this post, well, it was nowhere to be found -- but it sounds likely to me, so let's nod and smile and keep going.]

Once upon a time in 2009, Hasbro clearly had no idea what to do with the franchise. You could tell, because they got it into their heads that it would actually be a good idea to just keep re-releasing the "Core Seven" over and over and over. "But hey, it's okay! We're going to focus on their personalities! That'll make it worth it to buy all seven of them over and over and over! You'll eventually stop noticing that we're not producing any Ponies other than the Core Seven! We promise!"

Once upon a time in 2010, Lauren Faust saved everything. She had quite a bit of help, obviously, but no one involved with the project would have been involved with the project if she hadn't dreamed up a magical little show called My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

[NOTE: Interestingly, five of the Core Seven have appeared on the show so far -- two of them as mane characters -- and they've all been vastly improved by it. Particularly Rainbow Dash, who is at least twenty percent cooler now than she was then.]

Because it is just that good, FiM has amassed a huge following of fans who are, well, not little girls.

Which means that we have much more disposable income than fans who ARE little girls.

Which is money that we would love to give to Hasbro in exchange for merchandise.

Unfortunately, Hasbro is still somewhat unsure of how to handle the franchise. A complete list of all the merchandise they've released so far, as well as some that's coming soon, can be found here:

I'm not saying that's not impressive, because it really is. I'm just saying there's so much more that they could be releasing, and they're pretty much sitting on top of a veritable gold mine right now. Just off the top of my head, here are several ways they could be making QUITE A BIT of money off of us:

Season 1 on DVD
The word "duh" seems wholly inadequate all of a sudden. Fortunately, this is apparently on its way!

Non-Brushable Figures
the Mane Six in their "action poses" from "Dragonshy"
the Mane Six wearing the Elements of Harmony
Nightmare Moon
Opalescence, Gummy, Winona, Angel, and Spike
the Mane Six as fillies
the Mane Six after they've been "cursed"
the Mane Six dressed up for the Gala
the Mane Six after going crazy (happens to Applejack in "Applebuck Season," Pinkie Pie in "Party of One," Rarity in "Suited for Success," Twilight Sparkle in "Swarm of the Century" and "Look Before You Sleep," Fluttershy in "The Best Night Ever," and Rainbow Dash in "Sonic Rainboom")
Spike as a hatchling
the Cutie Mark Crusaders (duh)
gift set: the Cutie Mark Crusaders with scooter, helmets, and wagon
every single character who has ever appeared on the show, including but not limited to: Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, Granny Smith, Big Macintosh, Nightmare Moon, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Zecora, the Wonderbolts, the hydra, the manticore, the Diamond Dogs, Lyra, Bon Bon, Derpy Hooves, Ditzy Doo, Octavia, the twins, Applejack's entire family, Twilight Sparkle's parents, Mayor Mare, Philomena, Little Strong Heart, THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE, the Ursa Minor, Snips and Snails, Prince Charming, Gilda, Mr. and Mrs. Cake, DJ PON-3, Braeburn, Rose, Daisy, Lily, parasprites, Hoity Toity, Photo Finish, the sorrowful serpent, Owlowicious, the Shadowbolts, Cheerilee, Princess Celestia's guards, Pinkie Pie's family, etc. etc. etc.
==> most of whom could be released in MULTIPLE POSES, and seriously, we'd still buy them all

Brushable Figures
Sweetie Belle
Apple Bloom
six gift packs: each of the Mane Six with their pre-Fim counterparts
Nightmare Moon
Princess Celestia -- but make her the right color this time, duh
Derpy Hooves
re-release: Rarity . . . with her hair all one color, and maybe even styled correctly
re-release: Twilight Sparkle . . . twenty percent less pink
re-release: Applejack WITH HAT
gift pack: PARTY OF ONE
gift pack: Fluttershy vs. the cockatrice
gift pack: Fluttershy vs. the dragon
gift pack: Rarity and Sweetie Belle
gift pack: Applejack, Apple Bloom, and Big Macintosh
gift pack: Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo
gift pack: Rarity vs. Applejack
gift pack: Twilight Sparkle and THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE
gift pack: Rainbow Dash and Gilda
gift pack: the Cutie Mark Crusaders in costume
Cheerilee with eighties hair
Pinkie Pie in disguise
Pinkie Pie as a Pegasus Pony (what? I'd buy it)
Applejack with Bloomberg
and so on and so forth

Rainbow Dash's House (DUH)
Rarity's Boutique
Sugar Cube Corner
Twilight Sparkle's Library
Sweet Apple Acres
Fluttershy's House

Pinkie Pie
. . . and whoever else ya feel like

Sooo, there you have it.

I'm just saying.

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