Stupid Dreams I've Had Lately

• Sailor Moon and her friends discover the Thunderzords and use them to defeat someone or other. Someone particularly unpleasant.*
• I don't know, something about my dad.
• My little sister dies. (I've had this dream at least six times since New Year's.)
• Tiffany Aching visits Bonnie Bennett and explains that, when you're a young witch with an ancient evil you need to defeat, duh, sometimes the very best thing you can do is ask older witches for help. And then, in a moment of uncharacteristic snark, she teases her because her "ancient evil" is only a thousand years old.**
• I'm in a strange city and desperately need a cab. I'm holding a page from a phone book that's full of nothing but numbers for cab companies, but none of them work. I begin to get really frantic, and then I remember that I have the number for a reliable cab company in my phone already. THIS IS ONE OF THE DUMBEST DREAMS I HAVE EVER HAD.
• One of my best friends marries her boyfriend, has three daughters, and kills somebody who tries to hurt one of them (and by "hurt," I mean "rape"). She kills him with a kitchen knife. A really big, really shiny kitchen knife. This one was interesting because all I actually saw in the dream was this image of her standing there holding the knife and letting the blood drip down all over her hands and onto the floor; then I sort of asked her what had happened and just kind of knew everything.
• Storm of the X-Men - who, by the way, is rocking her leather and mohawk look from the eighties - saves a little girl who's been stuffed in a trunk.
• The Animorphs have superpowers related to their personalities - Cassie's an empath, Rachel is superstrong, etc. - and they can all teleport, but nobody can morph. There's basically no point to this dream (although it is obviously pretty cool), which I have now had about three times in about six years.
• My mom calls me and initiates a screaming match that ends with me getting really quiet and throwing this at her: "So, Mother, since you're throwing so many stones around today, I guess you're 'without sin,' huh? Golly, you're like the second sinless person in history. Why aren't you famous?"

You can analyze any or all of these if you want, but I am really not in the mood.




*Okay, that one was less "stupid" and more "made of awesome."

**Tiffany's foes tend to be so old that trying to figure out their exact age would require the sort of math that makes a normal person's head explode. For example, when she's thirteen (and therefore at least four years younger than Bonnie is when she fails to kill "the oldest vampire in the history of time") she butts heads with THE PERSONIFICATION OF WINTER.