WARNING: If you haven't already seen "Departed," the finale of season three, this post contains major spoilers.
1. Somebody --- absolutely anybody, but Rebekah might make the most dramatic sense --- finally kills Klaus.
To be clear, I think Klaus was a great villain.
"Was" being the operative word in that sentence.
In season one, the closest thing we got to a Big Bad was Katherine. In season two, we found out that most of the horrible things she did had less to do with the fact that she's an evil bitch (and, as a vampire, a complete badass who is also, you know, a cold-blooded killer and kind of a sociopath) and more to do with her desire to stay away from Klaus, "the oldest vampire in the history of time." Who was after Elena and determined to get to her, no matter who he had to kill on the way. And that was a good time (well, a good time for the audience; for the characters, not so much).
But then came season three, when it got pretty clear that someone (read: everyone) on the writing staff was in love with Klaus, to such an extent that he is (directly or indirectly) the source of just about every conflict for every other character for the entire season.
Which is all well and good, but . . . well, if you've seen the season finale, you're either giddy about the possibilities or, like me, just fucking over it.
Unfortunately, this is not going to happen. I'm pretty sure I've read at least one article about how Joseph Morgan will still be part of the cast. With this in mind, I offer an alternative:
1a. Bonnie puts Klaus back in his own body, but messes with his memories.
She doesn't have to give him complete amnesia (although that would be awesome to watch, wouldn't it?). She could just, for example, make him deathly afraid of ever messing with Elena again (not that he has any real use for her now that she's a vampire --- which, by the way, means that the Petrova line is ended and there will never ever be another doppelganger, ever --- but when has Klaus ever let a little thing like logic stand between him and murder?).
2. We finally get to meet someone supernatural who is not a vampire, a witch, a werewolf, a ghost, an Original Vampire, a vampire-werewolf hybrid, a doppelganger, or a medium.
Please?
I'd really love it --- I mean, REALLY love it --- if we could meet a wicked fairy. (You know, kind of like Maleficent?) She could be a shapeshifter. Just for starters.
3. We finally get to meet a character who is a) not American and b) not a villain.
'Nuff said.
4. For the first six or seven episodes, Elena hates being a vampire.
This would actually make a lot of sense, given her reaction when Damon and Stefan suggested turning her as a way to protect her from Klaus in season two. Also, it would be great if a) Caroline is the one who eventually convinces her that it's not all bad and b) someone makes a joke that, hey, at least now everybody else doesn't have to protect her all the time.
5. Elena hates Damon.
You know, because now she'll know that he compelled her to forget that they actually met a few hours before her parents died and has been lying to her (and everyone else) about this ever since then?
I mean, I kind of sort of want them to end up together someday, but he needs to
earn it. Yeah, yeah, he's come a long way since season one, but he's still willing to do things like kill her best friend's long-lost mother in order to "protect" her, and . . . that's gotta stop.
Also, it would be great if their reconciliation comes about because someone tries to kill him (which, let's face it, is not exactly a stretch) in the woods or something, and she can either leave him there or use her newfound superstrength to save them both.
And then they can make out in the rain, and everything will be deliciously, wonderfully cheesy. Until the next episode.
6. Bonnie's new attitude does not dissolve overnight.
In the season three finale (which, by the way, is one of the best episodes in the entire freaking series), Bonnie --- who, up to this point, has spent basically the whole series either being afraid of her own magic or seriously reluctant to use it because she might accidentally hurt someone --- defiantly tells Klaus, "Spirits don't get to tell me what to do anymore. I'm done getting pushed around by all of you. I did it because I wanted to."
This scene, which is something I've been waiting to see since practically forever, gave me chills.
I'm kind of expecting her to go back to never doing any magic unless she's pushed into it (well, okay, she wasn't quite that bad. But very nearly) as soon as the new season starts, and can I please be wrong?
7. Caroline and Tyler break up.
Nothing against Tyler --- who, quite obviously, is one of the hottest guys in Mystic Falls --- but I've found him dreadfully boring ever since he was turned into a hybrid. I mean, I don't fall asleep whenever he's in a scene or anything as bad as that, but . . . well, I just don't think he has quite enough whatever-it-is to keep dating my favorite vampire in all of fiction.
Also, this could lead to . . .
8. Caroline and Bonnie fall in love.
I know, I know. They've both been established as firmly heterosexual since the pilot, and who wants to see yet another series make two of its most prominent female characters "go lesbian" just for the hell of it?
But actually, when you think about it, this could make perfect sense.
Bonnie's exact age hasn't been spelled out, but she's either seventeen or eighteen. Caroline celebrated her eighteenth birthday in episode 3x11, but she'll technically be seventeen forever. And, let's face it, seventeen or eighteen is a time when quite a lot of people begin to question their sexuality, yes?
(Furthermore: This isn't something that's ever been mentioned canonically, but I tend to think that it's silly for vampires --- in any media, not just this show --- to identify as gay or straight or bi or anything. I mean, they're basically just big metaphors for sex sex sex, sooo wouldn't it make more sense for them to be attracted to anyone with a pulse, regardless of gender?)
Alternatively:
8a. Caroline falls for Bonnie, who does not reciprocate.
Or the other way around. Who doesn't enjoy a little unrequited love?
9. Now that she's a vampire, Elena finds Stefan totally boring.
Because, well, duh.
10. Caroline becomes Stefan's "new Lexi."
Oh wait, this is actually supposed to happen!
. . . Which kind of makes something like absolutely no sense, what with Caroline still being a "baby" vampire, but WHO CARES? She's awesome! And it's been firmly established that Stefan has a serious problem with drinking human blood, so he really does need someone in his life who isn't afraid to give him some tough love and, if necessary, be a total bitch every time he even thinks about it.
And occasionally get violent.
And, come on, how cool would it be if that someone was Caroline?
So actually, it sort of makes perfect sense.
Well done, writers.
11. Elena kills Katherine.
She may not be nearly as much of a threat as Klaus, but she's still wicked dangerous, and . . . well, it would just be really cool. I don't even know what else to say.
OR:
11a. Bonnie kills Katherine --- from a distance, because she can do things like that with magic --- and, just to be mean, makes her think she's dying by Elena's hand.
Actually, I sort of hope this doesn't happen.
Because my freaking brain might freaking explode from all the awesome.
How many days until October 11th?
Showing posts with label the vampire diaries. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the vampire diaries. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Thursday, May 24, 2012
111 Girls Who Kick Ass, Number 10: Bonnie Bennett
"Bonnie Bennett. How do I even begin to describe Bonnie Bennett?"
Well, I guess it makes the most sense to start at the beginning, since the beginning is where all of this started: If I hadn't found out that the main character's best friend was a witch, I never would've ever given The Vampire Diaries --- which is based on a book series that seemed stupid when I was TWELVE --- so much as half a chance.
It's been about a year since I did start watching (although it feels longer), and she is still my favorite character, but she also frustrates me more than anybody else.
But before we get to that, since this is a show where so much of the "plot" is driven by romantic bullshit, let's briefly examine her relationships:
- In season one, after every other main character has paired off with someone while she was busy discovering witchcraft, she finally finds the courage to talk to Ben, a bartender at The Mystic Grill. It doesn't go very well because he turns out to be a vampire who wants to kill Elena (of course) . . . but, even before we get there, you can't help but wonder, what the hell is a seventeen-year-old high school junior doing going on a date with a guy who's old enough to be a bartender? I mean, sure, he's hot, and if you're gonna make a bad decision about a guy, the time to do it is when you're seventeen, but the fact that he's into her should've set off her spider-sense. Or, at least, Elena's. She's usually fairly level-headed about these things, but in this case she just came short of physically pushing Bonnie to talk to him.
- In season two, she starts dating Jeremy. Who is Elena's little brother. Considering that Elena and Bonnie have been best friends since childhood and think of each other as sisters and either of them would die to protect the other, this is creepy. Shouldn't she think of Jeremy as her own little brother? But anyway, even if you're immune to the creepy, there's really no denying that they have one of the most boring romances in the history of the show.
- In season three, she finally reconnects with her mother, who abandoned her when she was a toddler (long story). She's surprised to find that her mother has adopted a son, Jamie, who is about her age. After her mother is turned into a vampire (again, long story), they lean on each other for comfort and that's great. But then she asks him to be her date to a school dance. Her date. Come on, guys. We know you're not technically related, but you have the same mother. What is wrong with you?
Bonnie Bennett is the most powerful character on The Vampire Diaries. Now, to be sure, I have a knack for making statements like this about my favorite characters --- but, in this case, there's really no way you can make so much as a half-coherent argument for anyone else being even in her league (unless they turn out to secretly be a witch or warlock, which would be literally impossible for Klaus, Finn, Rebekah, Elijah, Stefan, Damon, Caroline, Tyler, Alaric, or Elena).
Unfortunately, even when you consider that she's still relatively new to being a witch and doesn't know everything there is to know about magic yet, she's a bit too powerful. There are so many plotlines that don't get resolved because the writers won't let her go near them because she's the only character who could do anything about them . . . but if she did anything about them there'd be no conflict and without conflict there'd be no drama and without drama we'd all be watching some godawful kooky sitcom.
(For example: When Damon and Elena come up with a "secret plan" to finally kill Klaus about halfway through season three using that episode's Ultimate Original-Killing Weapon One of a Kind Only One in the World Act Now TM, it is a very elaborate plan. Which, naturally, blows up in their faces. Because they don't give Bonnie anything to do. Because, from a storytelling perspective, she can kill Klaus by pretty much standing there and saying, "Hey, Klaus --- just DIE already!" Only, you know, in Latin.)
After three seasons, I still find Bonnie's arc to be more interesting than any other character's (although Caroline and Elena are very close seconds). I'm very excited for season four, because it looks like she is FINALLY realizing how powerful she really is and I'm hoping against hope that this new attitude actually sticks.
You know, it's possible that so far I haven't done a very good job of convincing you, the reader, that Bonnie Bennett does indeed kick ass. Fair point. I have just kind of been rambling about other aspects of her character (which, by the way, I REGRET NOTHING; most of this is stuff that's been bugging me for a while).
So here you go.
I think we've all gotten quite tired of Klaus by now --- but, when he was introduced in season two, "the oldest vampire in the history of time" was quite a big deal. They can't kill him because he doesn't have a body, he's determined to kill Elena, and he'll gladly kill anyone who gets in his way. What do they do, then?
Well, here's the very best plan that the heroes (who, at this time, included three vampires, one vampire hunter, and a werewolf) could come up with:
* Distract him.
* Stay out of his way.
* Let Bonnie do some witchcraft in his general direction.
* Hope for the best.
Anyway. There's a lot more I could say about Bonnie and how much it bugs me that she's so hesitant about her own powers (even if you ignore every other thing she can do with magic, there's no getting around the fact that she could easily toss everyone else around like rag dolls with her thoughts) and how badly I want her to track down an older wiser witch to teach her more and how much I wish Lucy would come back and how annoyed I am that "the vampire-hating Bennett witch" has never killed a single vampire
. . . but, oy vey, I think that's enough for now.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Which Witch is Best (and Why)
NOTE: This post is completely free of TVD spoilers!
So it's never been a secret that, as far back as the pilot, I have found it pretty much impossible to stop myself from comparing Bonnie Bennett of The Vampire Diaries to Willow Rosenberg of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Today I'd like to talk about why I think Willow is a better witch -- although, honestly, I suppose I could just say something like
Willow is not only my favorite witch in all of fiction, she's pretty much my favorite fictional character of all time. Bonnie is neither of those things.
The end.
. . . But that wouldn't be very much fun to read, would it?
Anyway.
To break the whole thing down in a way that's as simple as it is uncomplicated, it seems to me that Willow is a better witch for two reasons, which I will discuss "at length" (a phrase which, in this context, can be read as "until I get bored"):
1. She is occasionally given storylines that have little or nothing to do with being a witch, and that makes her a stronger character.
Which may be somewhat unfair to Bonnie, whose first line in her first scene in the first episode was, "So, Grams is telling me I'm psychic -- our ancestors were from Salem; witches and all that" (note that I am quoting from memory, so the line may not be exactly verbatim) . . . but that just reinforces the point, don'tcha think? I mean, we are almost done with season three, and what do we know about her? She's Elena's best friend in the world; they're so close that they consider each other sisters. She's a witch who comes from a family of witches. She . . . oh, wait, THAT'S IT. There is absolutely nothing else to her character: anything that we've found out about her in nearly three years has had something to do with witchcraft (example: we finally got to meet her mother, and, well, yeah).
In stark contrast, we know plenty about Willow that has absolutely NOTHING to do with witchraft. Her crush on Xander, her friendship with Buffy, her Jewish background, her status as the smartest student in school, her romance with Oz, her strained relationship with her parents. All of this was established very early on in the series, and it made her a remarkably strong character, and that made her a better witch.
2. She made her own rules about magic.
To compare each of them to other witches from different works, whereas Willow greatly resembles Granny Weatherwax (widely regarded as the most powerful witch alive; doesn't know the meaning of the word "impossible"), Bonnie is more akin to Hermione Granger (very intelligent, very powerful, but rarely uses magic for anything she hasn't read about in a book).
I mean, just think about how much Willow has accomplished with magic. She restored Angel's soul (twice!). She saved her own life by floating a pencil. She attracted the attention of D'Hoffryn, even though she had never done any vengeance. She saved Buffy from the astral realm. She hurt Glory, who was a GOD (again, twice!). She brought Buffy back to life. She broke that whole "one girl in all the world" rule.
To hammer the point home: In the final season, the Big Bad is (kind of sort of) Satan By Another Name. One of the first things he does when he comes to town? He tries to convince Willow to kill herself because his plan would be so much easier without her around to muck things up.
Now, then. Bonnie. To be clear, I don't think her by-the-book approach to magic is necessarily a bad thing. She's obviously performed some pretty extraordinary feats, and she is one of only two humans Klaus views as a threat (note that the other is also a witch). Both of which are all the more remarkable when you consider that she's known about her powers for less than TWO YEARS.
But . . . seriously, it's like she forgets how powerful she is sometimes. Most of the time. I get that Klaus is a Big Damn Deal, and without him the show wouldn't be nearly as dramatic, but she's the one character who can really hurt him without some silly Deus Ex Machina one-of-a-kind super-special weapon, and she seems to spend all her time either worrying about who he's going to hurt next or sitting on the sidelines while the rest of the heroes try to take him out. Or, worse yet, letting him manipulate her into helping him!
So I guess what I'm saying is, I'd like to see her put down her books and start using her power. Stop fretting about what magic "can" or "can't" do, and make it work for her.
Just a thought.
So it's never been a secret that, as far back as the pilot, I have found it pretty much impossible to stop myself from comparing Bonnie Bennett of The Vampire Diaries to Willow Rosenberg of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Today I'd like to talk about why I think Willow is a better witch -- although, honestly, I suppose I could just say something like
Willow is not only my favorite witch in all of fiction, she's pretty much my favorite fictional character of all time. Bonnie is neither of those things.
The end.
. . . But that wouldn't be very much fun to read, would it?
Anyway.
To break the whole thing down in a way that's as simple as it is uncomplicated, it seems to me that Willow is a better witch for two reasons, which I will discuss "at length" (a phrase which, in this context, can be read as "until I get bored"):
1. She is occasionally given storylines that have little or nothing to do with being a witch, and that makes her a stronger character.
Which may be somewhat unfair to Bonnie, whose first line in her first scene in the first episode was, "So, Grams is telling me I'm psychic -- our ancestors were from Salem; witches and all that" (note that I am quoting from memory, so the line may not be exactly verbatim) . . . but that just reinforces the point, don'tcha think? I mean, we are almost done with season three, and what do we know about her? She's Elena's best friend in the world; they're so close that they consider each other sisters. She's a witch who comes from a family of witches. She . . . oh, wait, THAT'S IT. There is absolutely nothing else to her character: anything that we've found out about her in nearly three years has had something to do with witchcraft (example: we finally got to meet her mother, and, well, yeah).
In stark contrast, we know plenty about Willow that has absolutely NOTHING to do with witchraft. Her crush on Xander, her friendship with Buffy, her Jewish background, her status as the smartest student in school, her romance with Oz, her strained relationship with her parents. All of this was established very early on in the series, and it made her a remarkably strong character, and that made her a better witch.
2. She made her own rules about magic.
To compare each of them to other witches from different works, whereas Willow greatly resembles Granny Weatherwax (widely regarded as the most powerful witch alive; doesn't know the meaning of the word "impossible"), Bonnie is more akin to Hermione Granger (very intelligent, very powerful, but rarely uses magic for anything she hasn't read about in a book).
I mean, just think about how much Willow has accomplished with magic. She restored Angel's soul (twice!). She saved her own life by floating a pencil. She attracted the attention of D'Hoffryn, even though she had never done any vengeance. She saved Buffy from the astral realm. She hurt Glory, who was a GOD (again, twice!). She brought Buffy back to life. She broke that whole "one girl in all the world" rule.
To hammer the point home: In the final season, the Big Bad is (kind of sort of) Satan By Another Name. One of the first things he does when he comes to town? He tries to convince Willow to kill herself because his plan would be so much easier without her around to muck things up.
Now, then. Bonnie. To be clear, I don't think her by-the-book approach to magic is necessarily a bad thing. She's obviously performed some pretty extraordinary feats, and she is one of only two humans Klaus views as a threat (note that the other is also a witch). Both of which are all the more remarkable when you consider that she's known about her powers for less than TWO YEARS.
But . . . seriously, it's like she forgets how powerful she is sometimes. Most of the time. I get that Klaus is a Big Damn Deal, and without him the show wouldn't be nearly as dramatic, but she's the one character who can really hurt him without some silly Deus Ex Machina one-of-a-kind super-special weapon, and she seems to spend all her time either worrying about who he's going to hurt next or sitting on the sidelines while the rest of the heroes try to take him out. Or, worse yet, letting him manipulate her into helping him!
So I guess what I'm saying is, I'd like to see her put down her books and start using her power. Stop fretting about what magic "can" or "can't" do, and make it work for her.
Just a thought.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
How and Why I Gave The Vampire Diaries Half a Chance
Long story short: This is all Adam's fault and I may never forgive him.
Long story long:
As any fan who's not completely unobservant can tell you, The Vampire Diaries is "based upon the book by L. J. Smith." Or, more accurately, book series. There are four books, published in 1991 and 1992, that inspired the show: The Awakening, The Struggle, The Fury, and Dark Reunion.
Considering how much I (obviously) love the show, this may come as a bit of a surprise, but I have never given any of the books a chance, and probably never will.
Let's back up . . .
I'm twenty-four years old. It's probably pretty safe to say that I read a lot more than the "average" twenty-four-year-old. When I was twelve, though, I read even more. Picture what Hermione might have been like if Ron and Harry hadn't saved her from the troll and finally befriended her. That's not how bad I was. Picture what Hermione might have been like if she never got a letter from Hogwarts, never discovered that she could do magic, and was stuck in a school that did not even come close to meeting her intellectual needs. That is how much I read. Basically, I only ever did things like go to church or mow the lawn or go to bed at a decent hour* because my parents said I absolutely had to.
So, obviously, I spent more than a little bit of time of at the local library. I was, in fact, there so often that most of the staff recognized me and most of my family, and at least two of them knew me by name. I read whatever I could get my hands on - mostly Animorphs (which, to this day, is still one of my favorite pieces of fiction in the history of fiction), any sort of mystery, M. E. Kerr, Neal Shusterman, Walter Dean Myers, Jean Thesman, Gregory Maguire, Louise Rennison, and Paula Danziger. Even if I didn't actually take it home and read it, I had a passing familiarity with pretty much everything in the library's juvenile fiction/YA section . . . including The Vampire Diaries.
Now, I want to be perfectly clear. I have no lack of respect for L. J. Smith. According to the "paying your light bill" theory of writing talent (Stephen King?), she obviously has enough to fund quite an early retirement, so more power to her. But I never ever felt like reading any of her books because, despite featuring enough occult elements to send my mother into conniptions (which was usually my definition of a rollicking good read), even when I was twelve, they sounded ridiculous. Here's what I gathered from reading the backs of the books and occasionally skimming through them: After meeting her super-hot vampire boyfriend and his dark and mysterious vampire brother who also wants her, Elena Gilbert has a bunch of misadventures that lead to the following complications: She dies. She comes back as a vampire. She dies again. She comes back as an angel. She has different sets of wings that do different sorts of magic. She lives happily ever after or something.
Sorry, but I'm just not going to read that. Unless there's a cute girl (preferably with superstrength) running around killing them and looking like a total badass, I have never cared for vampires very much. Drinking blood is icky.
Fast forward to the fall of 2009. Wont as I am to hang out in bookstores, I was aware that the series had been adapted for television almost as soon as it happened, even though I haven't had "real" TV at home since before I was old enough to drink. So I saw the posters and the tote bags and the re-released actual books (now with actors on the covers) and they brought back vivid memories of my twelve-year-old fed-up-ness; my reaction at the time was basically, "Even if this was a good idea, True Blood already did it better, bitches."
Fast forward again to the very early spring of 2011. My best friend in the world, Adam -- well, okay, he's one of my ten or so best friends in the world; I'm pretty blessed in that department -- had recently come out to me (note that I realized he was gay about three seconds after meeting him . . . in December of 2008) and we were bonding over how much we were attracted or not attracted to this or that actor from this or that TV show, blah blah blah. He very quickly told me that he had just started watching this fairly new show called The Vampire Diaries and fallen heels over head for both of the male leads and I should start watching it so I could fall equally hard. But I told him about how familiar I already was with the books, and how much I was not interested in them, so for a while the subject was dropped.
In the last week of April 2011, my depression, which I had spent basically my whole life denying (note: It probably would have been a lot easier to start dealing with when I was twelve if I hadn't been stuck in such a shitty school at such a crucial time in my life. But that's water under the whatever at this point), spiraled the hell out of control. So I took a medical leave from my job and enrolled in some pretty intense group therapy and found that I had a maddening amount of free time. Which, to be sure, is a very very very good thing. Therapy is exhausting. Even though you look forward to it, you dread going there every day; even if all you do is listen, you spend the rest of the day feeling burnt out. You're not allowed to drink or use drugs, so you have to deal with your feelings all on your own, which is probably fairly new for you (let's face it: if you were more accustomed to dealing with your feelings all on your own, you probably wouldn't have landed yourself in group).
So, obviously, I spent a lot of that free time on the Internet. I finally started watching My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, which was SUCH a good thing -- to make another long story very short, when you're dealing with depression and feeling totally alone in the world even though friends you didn't know you had have suddenly come out of nowhere to tell you how proud they are that you're finally dealing with depression, it does you an insane amount of good to hear that loyalty + laughter + generosity + honesty + kindness = friendship, which is literally the exact same thing as magic -- but there were only so many episodes, you know? They couldn't take up all of my free time.
Anyway, one day I got bored enough to read about the show on tvtropes.org (which, if you've never visited, I don't recommend unless you tell someone you're going there first and ask them to check up on you; otherwise you'll still be poring over character pages six days later, and your list of stuff to check out will be about a mile high), where I came across a bit of information that radically altered my entire stance on the show: Bonnie was a witch. She was also the main character's best friend. THE MAIN CHARACTER'S BEST FRIEND WAS A WITCH.
The sound I made when I read this was pretty fricking hilarious.
At this point, we need to talk a bit about my history with witches.
When I was two or three, my mother sat me down to watch The Wizard of Oz. Now, obviously, I was already familiar with the concept of witches -- we've always been a fairly Disney-heavy family, and Mom has this big book of fairy tales from when she was a kid that she made sure to read to all three of her children because she's a good parent like that -- but, up until then, when I heard the word "witch," I mostly thought of Ursula from The Little Mermaid or The Queen from Snow White and got all terrified (note: I was afraid of The Queen, not The Hag; I didn't really start to believe that The Queen was entirely fictional until I was at least seven years old, and for the longest time I honestly believed that she was going to jump out of my closet and eat me whenever I was naked -- yeah, I know, analyze that one).
The Wizard of Oz was different, though, right from the start. I don't know what it was, but something about The Wicked Witch of the West made me fall in love with her right away. I couldn't figure out why she was supposedly so "wicked," either. If a house fell on me and my shoes miraculously survived, I'd certainly want my little sister to have them, and I'd be pretty angry if a total stranger showed up and took them from her.
And then there was Glinda. The Good Witch of the North. Right. Good. SAYS WHO? First she gives the dead woman's shoes to the girl who inadvertently killed her, even though her sister obviously deserves to keep them, then she sends Dorothy off on a quest to meet the Wizard so he can send her home. Then, AFTER THE WHOLE MOVIE HAS ALREADY HAPPENED, she conveniently remembers that, oh hey, the shoes she forced her to steal have the power to take her home whenever she feels like it.
I think it's safe to say that this was the first time in my life a fictional character made me so angry.
I just flat-out did not get it. The "Wicked" Witch was clearly misunderstood and mistreated; the "Good" Witch was clearly a manipulative little snot. Oh, and also? Her dress was tacky.
So, ever since then, I have been absolutely fascinated by the notion of witches in fiction. Good or evil, funny or serious, ridiculously powerful or not so much, pseudo-realistic or entirely made-up, whether they actually call themselves witches or not, their presence in a story almost always ensures that I'm going to enjoy it about ten times more than I would without them.
(For those who are curious, some of my favorite witches include: Willow Rosenberg and Tara Maclay from Buffy the Vampire Slayer; Frau Totenkinder from Fables; the Sanderson sisters from Hocus Pocus; certain characters from Robin McKinley's Sunshine; Elphaba and Glinda from Wicked; Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg, Magrat Garlick, Agnes "Perdita" X. Nitt, and - most especially - Tiffany Aching from Terry Pratchett's Discworld books; Nico Minoru from Runaways; Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty; Rita Repulsa from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers; pretty much any witch from any fairy tale ever; Juniper, Gentian, and Rosemary from a short story in a book I read long ago that I think was called Things That Go Bump in the Night; Twilight Sparkle from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, because yes, she totally counts; Professor McGonagall and Molly Weasley from Harry Potter; Thessaly from The Sandman; the witch queens from Stardust, either the book or the movie; all three generations of Owens sisters from Practical Magic - the book, NOT the movie**; Marnie and her family from Halloweentown and its sequels; Endora from Bewitched; the cool aunt from The Mists of Avalon; Nancy, Rochelle, Bonnie, and Sarah from The Craft; and Rachel, Alex, and Daphne from the godawful stories I've been writing all my life.)
Sooo, when I finally found out about Bonnie, I fell out of my chair and thrashed about for a second, snatched up my phone, and quickly typed up a text message to Adam: "If you wanted me to watch The Vampire Diaries so much, why the FUCK didn't you mention that the main character's best friend is a witch?!" Always one to take things in stride, he nonchalantly replied, "Elena's best friend Bonnie is a witch. Now watch."
So I did, and I haven't looked back since.
Which you'd think would be the end of this post, and it probably should be, but I feel compelled to mention that the witchcraft is not what kept me watching. As I said, I got into the show while I was going through therapy. It turns out that experiencing fiction and feeling what the characters feel is a pretty excellent way to cope with depression (and quite a bit easier than therapy, although it's obviously no substitute), so it was the (platonic) relationships between the characters that made me go from "alright, I'll give it a chance since there's a witch at the center of things" to "sweet holy Moses, I actually thoroughly enjoy this show!" I really started to fall in love with Elena in the pilot when she follows Jeremy into the bathroom and he tells her that she needs to "chill herself," and my heart melted a little later in the pilot when Stefan said "You won't be sad forever, Elena." So, yeah, there you have it.
Oh, also, the fact that my mother is indirectly responsible for my fascination with witches will always be deliciously ironic. Heh.
More later.
Much love,
Ryan
*Which, by the way, Mom and David? Do either of you have any idea how often I stayed up reading by the light of my glow-in-the-dark watch? Because it was a lot.
**The movie isn't bad, but it's so different that Warner Brothers could've given everyone different names and probably gotten out of paying Alice Hoffman any royalties without any kind of legal repercussions.
Long story long:
As any fan who's not completely unobservant can tell you, The Vampire Diaries is "based upon the book by L. J. Smith." Or, more accurately, book series. There are four books, published in 1991 and 1992, that inspired the show: The Awakening, The Struggle, The Fury, and Dark Reunion.
Considering how much I (obviously) love the show, this may come as a bit of a surprise, but I have never given any of the books a chance, and probably never will.
Let's back up . . .
I'm twenty-four years old. It's probably pretty safe to say that I read a lot more than the "average" twenty-four-year-old. When I was twelve, though, I read even more. Picture what Hermione might have been like if Ron and Harry hadn't saved her from the troll and finally befriended her. That's not how bad I was. Picture what Hermione might have been like if she never got a letter from Hogwarts, never discovered that she could do magic, and was stuck in a school that did not even come close to meeting her intellectual needs. That is how much I read. Basically, I only ever did things like go to church or mow the lawn or go to bed at a decent hour* because my parents said I absolutely had to.
So, obviously, I spent more than a little bit of time of at the local library. I was, in fact, there so often that most of the staff recognized me and most of my family, and at least two of them knew me by name. I read whatever I could get my hands on - mostly Animorphs (which, to this day, is still one of my favorite pieces of fiction in the history of fiction), any sort of mystery, M. E. Kerr, Neal Shusterman, Walter Dean Myers, Jean Thesman, Gregory Maguire, Louise Rennison, and Paula Danziger. Even if I didn't actually take it home and read it, I had a passing familiarity with pretty much everything in the library's juvenile fiction/YA section . . . including The Vampire Diaries.
Now, I want to be perfectly clear. I have no lack of respect for L. J. Smith. According to the "paying your light bill" theory of writing talent (Stephen King?), she obviously has enough to fund quite an early retirement, so more power to her. But I never ever felt like reading any of her books because, despite featuring enough occult elements to send my mother into conniptions (which was usually my definition of a rollicking good read), even when I was twelve, they sounded ridiculous. Here's what I gathered from reading the backs of the books and occasionally skimming through them: After meeting her super-hot vampire boyfriend and his dark and mysterious vampire brother who also wants her, Elena Gilbert has a bunch of misadventures that lead to the following complications: She dies. She comes back as a vampire. She dies again. She comes back as an angel. She has different sets of wings that do different sorts of magic. She lives happily ever after or something.
Sorry, but I'm just not going to read that. Unless there's a cute girl (preferably with superstrength) running around killing them and looking like a total badass, I have never cared for vampires very much. Drinking blood is icky.
Fast forward to the fall of 2009. Wont as I am to hang out in bookstores, I was aware that the series had been adapted for television almost as soon as it happened, even though I haven't had "real" TV at home since before I was old enough to drink. So I saw the posters and the tote bags and the re-released actual books (now with actors on the covers) and they brought back vivid memories of my twelve-year-old fed-up-ness; my reaction at the time was basically, "Even if this was a good idea, True Blood already did it better, bitches."
Fast forward again to the very early spring of 2011. My best friend in the world, Adam -- well, okay, he's one of my ten or so best friends in the world; I'm pretty blessed in that department -- had recently come out to me (note that I realized he was gay about three seconds after meeting him . . . in December of 2008) and we were bonding over how much we were attracted or not attracted to this or that actor from this or that TV show, blah blah blah. He very quickly told me that he had just started watching this fairly new show called The Vampire Diaries and fallen heels over head for both of the male leads and I should start watching it so I could fall equally hard. But I told him about how familiar I already was with the books, and how much I was not interested in them, so for a while the subject was dropped.
In the last week of April 2011, my depression, which I had spent basically my whole life denying (note: It probably would have been a lot easier to start dealing with when I was twelve if I hadn't been stuck in such a shitty school at such a crucial time in my life. But that's water under the whatever at this point), spiraled the hell out of control. So I took a medical leave from my job and enrolled in some pretty intense group therapy and found that I had a maddening amount of free time. Which, to be sure, is a very very very good thing. Therapy is exhausting. Even though you look forward to it, you dread going there every day; even if all you do is listen, you spend the rest of the day feeling burnt out. You're not allowed to drink or use drugs, so you have to deal with your feelings all on your own, which is probably fairly new for you (let's face it: if you were more accustomed to dealing with your feelings all on your own, you probably wouldn't have landed yourself in group).
So, obviously, I spent a lot of that free time on the Internet. I finally started watching My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, which was SUCH a good thing -- to make another long story very short, when you're dealing with depression and feeling totally alone in the world even though friends you didn't know you had have suddenly come out of nowhere to tell you how proud they are that you're finally dealing with depression, it does you an insane amount of good to hear that loyalty + laughter + generosity + honesty + kindness = friendship, which is literally the exact same thing as magic -- but there were only so many episodes, you know? They couldn't take up all of my free time.
Anyway, one day I got bored enough to read about the show on tvtropes.org (which, if you've never visited, I don't recommend unless you tell someone you're going there first and ask them to check up on you; otherwise you'll still be poring over character pages six days later, and your list of stuff to check out will be about a mile high), where I came across a bit of information that radically altered my entire stance on the show: Bonnie was a witch. She was also the main character's best friend. THE MAIN CHARACTER'S BEST FRIEND WAS A WITCH.
The sound I made when I read this was pretty fricking hilarious.
At this point, we need to talk a bit about my history with witches.
When I was two or three, my mother sat me down to watch The Wizard of Oz. Now, obviously, I was already familiar with the concept of witches -- we've always been a fairly Disney-heavy family, and Mom has this big book of fairy tales from when she was a kid that she made sure to read to all three of her children because she's a good parent like that -- but, up until then, when I heard the word "witch," I mostly thought of Ursula from The Little Mermaid or The Queen from Snow White and got all terrified (note: I was afraid of The Queen, not The Hag; I didn't really start to believe that The Queen was entirely fictional until I was at least seven years old, and for the longest time I honestly believed that she was going to jump out of my closet and eat me whenever I was naked -- yeah, I know, analyze that one).
The Wizard of Oz was different, though, right from the start. I don't know what it was, but something about The Wicked Witch of the West made me fall in love with her right away. I couldn't figure out why she was supposedly so "wicked," either. If a house fell on me and my shoes miraculously survived, I'd certainly want my little sister to have them, and I'd be pretty angry if a total stranger showed up and took them from her.
And then there was Glinda. The Good Witch of the North. Right. Good. SAYS WHO? First she gives the dead woman's shoes to the girl who inadvertently killed her, even though her sister obviously deserves to keep them, then she sends Dorothy off on a quest to meet the Wizard so he can send her home. Then, AFTER THE WHOLE MOVIE HAS ALREADY HAPPENED, she conveniently remembers that, oh hey, the shoes she forced her to steal have the power to take her home whenever she feels like it.
I think it's safe to say that this was the first time in my life a fictional character made me so angry.
I just flat-out did not get it. The "Wicked" Witch was clearly misunderstood and mistreated; the "Good" Witch was clearly a manipulative little snot. Oh, and also? Her dress was tacky.
So, ever since then, I have been absolutely fascinated by the notion of witches in fiction. Good or evil, funny or serious, ridiculously powerful or not so much, pseudo-realistic or entirely made-up, whether they actually call themselves witches or not, their presence in a story almost always ensures that I'm going to enjoy it about ten times more than I would without them.
(For those who are curious, some of my favorite witches include: Willow Rosenberg and Tara Maclay from Buffy the Vampire Slayer; Frau Totenkinder from Fables; the Sanderson sisters from Hocus Pocus; certain characters from Robin McKinley's Sunshine; Elphaba and Glinda from Wicked; Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg, Magrat Garlick, Agnes "Perdita" X. Nitt, and - most especially - Tiffany Aching from Terry Pratchett's Discworld books; Nico Minoru from Runaways; Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty; Rita Repulsa from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers; pretty much any witch from any fairy tale ever; Juniper, Gentian, and Rosemary from a short story in a book I read long ago that I think was called Things That Go Bump in the Night; Twilight Sparkle from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, because yes, she totally counts; Professor McGonagall and Molly Weasley from Harry Potter; Thessaly from The Sandman; the witch queens from Stardust, either the book or the movie; all three generations of Owens sisters from Practical Magic - the book, NOT the movie**; Marnie and her family from Halloweentown and its sequels; Endora from Bewitched; the cool aunt from The Mists of Avalon; Nancy, Rochelle, Bonnie, and Sarah from The Craft; and Rachel, Alex, and Daphne from the godawful stories I've been writing all my life.)
Sooo, when I finally found out about Bonnie, I fell out of my chair and thrashed about for a second, snatched up my phone, and quickly typed up a text message to Adam: "If you wanted me to watch The Vampire Diaries so much, why the FUCK didn't you mention that the main character's best friend is a witch?!" Always one to take things in stride, he nonchalantly replied, "Elena's best friend Bonnie is a witch. Now watch."
So I did, and I haven't looked back since.
Which you'd think would be the end of this post, and it probably should be, but I feel compelled to mention that the witchcraft is not what kept me watching. As I said, I got into the show while I was going through therapy. It turns out that experiencing fiction and feeling what the characters feel is a pretty excellent way to cope with depression (and quite a bit easier than therapy, although it's obviously no substitute), so it was the (platonic) relationships between the characters that made me go from "alright, I'll give it a chance since there's a witch at the center of things" to "sweet holy Moses, I actually thoroughly enjoy this show!" I really started to fall in love with Elena in the pilot when she follows Jeremy into the bathroom and he tells her that she needs to "chill herself," and my heart melted a little later in the pilot when Stefan said "You won't be sad forever, Elena." So, yeah, there you have it.
Oh, also, the fact that my mother is indirectly responsible for my fascination with witches will always be deliciously ironic. Heh.
More later.
Much love,
Ryan
*Which, by the way, Mom and David? Do either of you have any idea how often I stayed up reading by the light of my glow-in-the-dark watch? Because it was a lot.
**The movie isn't bad, but it's so different that Warner Brothers could've given everyone different names and probably gotten out of paying Alice Hoffman any royalties without any kind of legal repercussions.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Monday, February 27, 2012
Five More Things I Really Like About The Vampire Diaries
NOTE: This post contains mild to major spoilers for the first two seasons.
1. Sheriff Elizabeth Forbes
If you've ever seen any other vampire show in the history of television, you'd probably expect the local sheriff to be completely unaware of the supernatural and/or totally incompetent when she has to deal with it. In that case, prepare to be pleasantly surprised.
2. The Siblings
I know this is technically more of a "romance" show, and I suppose there's not exactly anything wrong with that, but my favorite relationships are those between brothers and sisters, or characters who think of each other as family: Elena and Jeremy (the scene where he tells her to "chill herself" in the pilot was one of the biggest reasons I started to love the show), Matt and Vicki, Elena and Bonnie and Caroline, Stefan and Damon (their complicated relationship with each other is infinitely more interesting than any whatever either of them have going on with Elena at any given time), even Klaus and Rebekah.
I guess I didn't really explain that one, but it sort of explains itself, yeah?
3. The Heartwarming Moments
So when the writers try to tug at your heartstrings, they either get it really wrong or really right. Some of the most noteworthy times they got it right (in other words, some of the most memorable scenes that made me cry like a little girl) include Elena's complete breakdown when Bonnie dies in "The Last Dance," Liz and Tyler to the rescue in "The End of the Affair," Elena's attempts to comfort Jenna in "The Sun Also Rises," and Matt's reunion with Vicki in "The Reckoning."
Also, special mention goes to that one silent scene in "Ghost World." You know the one I'm talking about.
4. Elena Gilbert: The Anti-Bella
Long story short, Twilight makes me afraid to ever have a daughter for fear that she will one day grow up to be anything like Bella. On the other hand, The Vampire Diaries gives me hope that she might be a little bit like Elena.
To break it down a little bit:
Despite meeting a totally hot vampire who's completely in love with her when she's seventeen, Elena actually has goals for her life that have nothing to do with him!
Despite meeting a totally hot vampire who's completely in love with her when she's seventeen, Elena DOES NOT WANT TO BE A VAMPIRE. The thought literally drives her to tears.
When Stefan doesn't call her for a few days, she says she doesn't want to be one of those girls who falls apart without a guy in their lives. OH SNAP.
She actually has friends.
I could go on, but I don't want to spoil season three.
5. WITCHCRAFT
Okay, so Bonnie may have a knack for forgetting that, oh hey, she can move things with her mind. And her friends might have a knack for not asking her to help them deal with vampire problems even though she's the only main character (and probably one of the only humans ever) who has managed to hurt an Original Vampire . . .
. . . but, other than that, there are so many things that this show gets spot-on, such as:
* Bonnie tends to do "big" spells (for example: activating Caroline's daylight ring) in total silence, no chanting whatsoever. Unfortunately, as the show goes on, they seem to be getting more and more inclined to have her chant in order to do just about anything; fortunately, she never chants in any language other than pseudo-Latin (or is it just straight-up real Latin? I'm not that much of a linguist).
* So far, we haven't met any witches who worship any sort of goddess. Not that there would be anything wrong with that, thematically speaking, but I personally prefer witches who are crazy powerful just because, you know?
* The whole "witches hate vampires" thing, best summed up in 3x8: "A witch is nature's servant; a vampire is an abomination of nature. You can either be one or the other, never both." Which FINALLY confirmed a theory I've had since practically forever.
* When a witch wants to set something on fire, she does not conjure a cheesy CGI fireball and throw it. She just points at whatever it is and, boom, fire. Or she sets fire to water, which I could not figure out for the longest time, until it hit me that, in real life, that's not actually water -- it's clear and it's liquid, but it's totally flammable. So my point is there's a remarkable lack of horrible special effects, and that's nice.
* I really like how witches are born, not made (or, technically, I guess they're born and then made). They exist because nature needs help maintaining the balance or what-have-you. Vampires and werewolves, on the other hand, exist because witches abused their power. They shouldn't exist. Which I suppose I should've mentioned two points ago, but I don't know how to use backspace.
* More often than not, when a witch does magic, the only thing about it that's supernatural is that there's a witch doing it.
1. Sheriff Elizabeth Forbes
If you've ever seen any other vampire show in the history of television, you'd probably expect the local sheriff to be completely unaware of the supernatural and/or totally incompetent when she has to deal with it. In that case, prepare to be pleasantly surprised.
2. The Siblings
I know this is technically more of a "romance" show, and I suppose there's not exactly anything wrong with that, but my favorite relationships are those between brothers and sisters, or characters who think of each other as family: Elena and Jeremy (the scene where he tells her to "chill herself" in the pilot was one of the biggest reasons I started to love the show), Matt and Vicki, Elena and Bonnie and Caroline, Stefan and Damon (their complicated relationship with each other is infinitely more interesting than any whatever either of them have going on with Elena at any given time), even Klaus and Rebekah.
I guess I didn't really explain that one, but it sort of explains itself, yeah?
3. The Heartwarming Moments
So when the writers try to tug at your heartstrings, they either get it really wrong or really right. Some of the most noteworthy times they got it right (in other words, some of the most memorable scenes that made me cry like a little girl) include Elena's complete breakdown when Bonnie dies in "The Last Dance," Liz and Tyler to the rescue in "The End of the Affair," Elena's attempts to comfort Jenna in "The Sun Also Rises," and Matt's reunion with Vicki in "The Reckoning."
Also, special mention goes to that one silent scene in "Ghost World." You know the one I'm talking about.
4. Elena Gilbert: The Anti-Bella
Long story short, Twilight makes me afraid to ever have a daughter for fear that she will one day grow up to be anything like Bella. On the other hand, The Vampire Diaries gives me hope that she might be a little bit like Elena.
To break it down a little bit:
Despite meeting a totally hot vampire who's completely in love with her when she's seventeen, Elena actually has goals for her life that have nothing to do with him!
Despite meeting a totally hot vampire who's completely in love with her when she's seventeen, Elena DOES NOT WANT TO BE A VAMPIRE. The thought literally drives her to tears.
When Stefan doesn't call her for a few days, she says she doesn't want to be one of those girls who falls apart without a guy in their lives. OH SNAP.
She actually has friends.
I could go on, but I don't want to spoil season three.
5. WITCHCRAFT
Okay, so Bonnie may have a knack for forgetting that, oh hey, she can move things with her mind. And her friends might have a knack for not asking her to help them deal with vampire problems even though she's the only main character (and probably one of the only humans ever) who has managed to hurt an Original Vampire . . .
. . . but, other than that, there are so many things that this show gets spot-on, such as:
* Bonnie tends to do "big" spells (for example: activating Caroline's daylight ring) in total silence, no chanting whatsoever. Unfortunately, as the show goes on, they seem to be getting more and more inclined to have her chant in order to do just about anything; fortunately, she never chants in any language other than pseudo-Latin (or is it just straight-up real Latin? I'm not that much of a linguist).
* So far, we haven't met any witches who worship any sort of goddess. Not that there would be anything wrong with that, thematically speaking, but I personally prefer witches who are crazy powerful just because, you know?
* The whole "witches hate vampires" thing, best summed up in 3x8: "A witch is nature's servant; a vampire is an abomination of nature. You can either be one or the other, never both." Which FINALLY confirmed a theory I've had since practically forever.
* When a witch wants to set something on fire, she does not conjure a cheesy CGI fireball and throw it. She just points at whatever it is and, boom, fire. Or she sets fire to water, which I could not figure out for the longest time, until it hit me that, in real life, that's not actually water -- it's clear and it's liquid, but it's totally flammable. So my point is there's a remarkable lack of horrible special effects, and that's nice.
* I really like how witches are born, not made (or, technically, I guess they're born and then made). They exist because nature needs help maintaining the balance or what-have-you. Vampires and werewolves, on the other hand, exist because witches abused their power. They shouldn't exist. Which I suppose I should've mentioned two points ago, but I don't know how to use backspace.
* More often than not, when a witch does magic, the only thing about it that's supernatural is that there's a witch doing it.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
TVD 3x11: Some Spoiler-Free Thoughts
(Well, um, this may contain something like half a spoiler if you don't have a passing familiarity with season two . . .)
So, last episode ended with a fairly big moment. I enjoyed it much more than I ever thought I would (much like the show itself, amirite), but I was distracted by the music, which sucked out loud. And I do mean LOUD. If they absolutely had to use that particular godawful song, couldn't they have abruptly stopped it so that the sudden silence would've made the fairly big moment even more dramatic? I mean, that just makes SENSE. It was especially jarring because the music on this show is usually so so so bloody good . . .
. . . and then this episode kicked off with "Punching in a Dream" by The Naked and Famous, and my faith was restored.
Bonnie made me laugh so hard that I had to start the scene over after I regained my composure, which I'm pretty certain has never ever happened before in the entire history of the show. Ever.
This episode is called "Our Town," which is a reference that I would've loved even if the episode itself had sucked -- as a recovering theater geek (our motto, obviously, is: "One Play at a Time"), that is still, and always will be, one of my favorite plays ever, whether I'm watching it or acting in it. Love love love. (Actually, I love it even more because most of my fellow theater geeks hated it.)
Caroline just turned eighteen. Which means she turned seventeen sometime in season one. Which means that, when Damon compelled her to have sex with him and let him bite her, she was still only sixteen. I mean, not that there's that much of a difference between sixteen and seventeen -- the whole thing is disgusting no matter how you slice it -- but that just makes it even more horrible. Although I do have to grudgingly admit that he has come a long, long way since then. He's arguably had more character development than anyone else.
Something tells me I'm gonna have a whole heck of a lot to say about whatever the flaming hell is happening between Caroline and Klaus, but I'll wait and see how that develops.
Because I just can't help myself, I've been mentally comparing Elena to Buffy, Bonnie to Willow, and Caroline to Cordelia since the pilot. This episode REALLY made me draw parallels between Elena and Buffy. They are both determined to protect their loved ones from supernatural forces no matter what -- which is even more of a badass trait in Elena's case, since she doesn't have superstrength to back it up.
The more I think about it, this is how I see it: Bonnie and Caroline are my favorite characters on the show (usually), and Caroline is my favorite vampire ever, but . . . Elena is one of my favorite characters in all of fiction. Period, the end. I didn't expect to like her very much at all, but I like her more and more and more the longer I watch. She makes my soul happy. I know how cheesy that sounds, but I don't give a fuck.
I've been saying for a while that vampire-Caroline is a much better person than human-Caroline, right? In this episode, her best friends said pretty much the same thing. I'm blown away that they actually acknowledged that in-universe.
In order for there to be any conflict whatsoever, the heroes often need to act dumber than dirt. (For example, two episodes ago Damon and Elena concocted a "secret plan" to kill Klaus. It was actually a pretty decent plan, but it still failed miserably -- probably because THEY DIDN'T ASK BONNIE TO DO ANYTHING EVEN THOUGH SHE'S THE ONLY PERSON WHO WE'VE EVER SEEN HURT HIM AT ALL.) That is once again the case. I'm sorry, but how obvious is it that the fourth coffin, the one that's sealed by magic, is holding Mama Witch? So bloody obvious.
So I can't really go into detail since I said this would be "spoiler-free," but this episode really changed my perspective on some stuff and made me want two things:
1. I want Stefan dead.
2. I want Elena to kill him.
So really, I guess that's just one thing.
Seriously, he has crossed a line. There are no words to convey the depths to which he has sunk. I am appalled.
So, last episode ended with a fairly big moment. I enjoyed it much more than I ever thought I would (much like the show itself, amirite), but I was distracted by the music, which sucked out loud. And I do mean LOUD. If they absolutely had to use that particular godawful song, couldn't they have abruptly stopped it so that the sudden silence would've made the fairly big moment even more dramatic? I mean, that just makes SENSE. It was especially jarring because the music on this show is usually so so so bloody good . . .
. . . and then this episode kicked off with "Punching in a Dream" by The Naked and Famous, and my faith was restored.
Bonnie made me laugh so hard that I had to start the scene over after I regained my composure, which I'm pretty certain has never ever happened before in the entire history of the show. Ever.
This episode is called "Our Town," which is a reference that I would've loved even if the episode itself had sucked -- as a recovering theater geek (our motto, obviously, is: "One Play at a Time"), that is still, and always will be, one of my favorite plays ever, whether I'm watching it or acting in it. Love love love. (Actually, I love it even more because most of my fellow theater geeks hated it.)
Caroline just turned eighteen. Which means she turned seventeen sometime in season one. Which means that, when Damon compelled her to have sex with him and let him bite her, she was still only sixteen. I mean, not that there's that much of a difference between sixteen and seventeen -- the whole thing is disgusting no matter how you slice it -- but that just makes it even more horrible. Although I do have to grudgingly admit that he has come a long, long way since then. He's arguably had more character development than anyone else.
Something tells me I'm gonna have a whole heck of a lot to say about whatever the flaming hell is happening between Caroline and Klaus, but I'll wait and see how that develops.
Because I just can't help myself, I've been mentally comparing Elena to Buffy, Bonnie to Willow, and Caroline to Cordelia since the pilot. This episode REALLY made me draw parallels between Elena and Buffy. They are both determined to protect their loved ones from supernatural forces no matter what -- which is even more of a badass trait in Elena's case, since she doesn't have superstrength to back it up.
The more I think about it, this is how I see it: Bonnie and Caroline are my favorite characters on the show (usually), and Caroline is my favorite vampire ever, but . . . Elena is one of my favorite characters in all of fiction. Period, the end. I didn't expect to like her very much at all, but I like her more and more and more the longer I watch. She makes my soul happy. I know how cheesy that sounds, but I don't give a fuck.
I've been saying for a while that vampire-Caroline is a much better person than human-Caroline, right? In this episode, her best friends said pretty much the same thing. I'm blown away that they actually acknowledged that in-universe.
In order for there to be any conflict whatsoever, the heroes often need to act dumber than dirt. (For example, two episodes ago Damon and Elena concocted a "secret plan" to kill Klaus. It was actually a pretty decent plan, but it still failed miserably -- probably because THEY DIDN'T ASK BONNIE TO DO ANYTHING EVEN THOUGH SHE'S THE ONLY PERSON WHO WE'VE EVER SEEN HURT HIM AT ALL.) That is once again the case. I'm sorry, but how obvious is it that the fourth coffin, the one that's sealed by magic, is holding Mama Witch? So bloody obvious.
So I can't really go into detail since I said this would be "spoiler-free," but this episode really changed my perspective on some stuff and made me want two things:
1. I want Stefan dead.
2. I want Elena to kill him.
So really, I guess that's just one thing.
Seriously, he has crossed a line. There are no words to convey the depths to which he has sunk. I am appalled.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Stupid Dreams I've Had Lately
- Sailor Moon and her friends discover the Thunderzords and use them to defeat someone or other. Someone particularly unpleasant.*
- I don't know, something about my dad.
- My little sister dies. (I've had this dream at least six times since New Year's.)
- Tiffany Aching visits Bonnie Bennett and explains that, when you're a young witch with an ancient evil you need to defeat, duh, sometimes the very best thing you can do is ask older witches for help. And then, in a moment of uncharacteristic snark, she teases her because her "ancient evil" is only a thousand years old.**
- I'm in a strange city and desperately need a cab. I'm holding a page from a phone book that's full of nothing but numbers for cab companies, but none of them work. I begin to get really frantic, and then I remember that I have the number for a reliable cab company in my phone already. THIS IS ONE OF THE DUMBEST DREAMS I HAVE EVER HAD.
- One of my best friends marries her boyfriend, has three daughters, and kills somebody who tries to hurt one of them (and by "hurt," I mean "rape"). She kills him with a kitchen knife. A really big, really shiny kitchen knife. This one was interesting because all I actually saw in the dream was this image of her standing there holding the knife and letting the blood drip down all over her hands and onto the floor; then I sort of asked her what had happened and just kind of knew everything.
- Storm of the X-Men - who, by the way, is rocking her leather and mohawk look from the eighties - saves a little girl who's been stuffed in a trunk.
- The Animorphs have superpowers related to their personalities - Cassie's an empath, Rachel is superstrong, etc. - and they can all teleport, but nobody can morph. There's basically no point to this dream (although it is obviously pretty cool), which I have now had about three times in about six years.
- My mom calls me and initiates a screaming match that ends with me getting really quiet and throwing this at her: "So, Mother, since you're throwing so many stones around today, I guess you're 'without sin,' huh? Golly, you're like the second sinless person in history. Why aren't you famous?"
*Okay, that one was less "stupid" and more "made of awesome."
**Tiffany's foes tend to be so old that trying to figure out their exact age would require the sort of math that makes a normal person's head explode. For example, when she's thirteen (and therefore at least four years younger than Bonnie is when she fails to kill "the oldest vampire in the history of time") she butts heads with THE PERSONIFICATION OF WINTER.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Six Things I Really Like About The Vampire Diaries
NOTE: This post may, and probably will, contain mild to major spoilers for the first two seasons.
(Although, having said that, I started watching season one more than halfway through the original airing of season two; I went in knowing full well that Character A becomes a vampire, Character B and Character C hook up, etc. . . . and that did absolutely nothing to spoil my enjoyment. So I'm just saying.)
1. Supernatural Hierarchy
In the first two seasons, we meet vampires, witches, werewolves, Original Vampires, and ghosts.
Ghosts are a bit of a mystery, so let's focus on the other four.
Actually, you know, I was going to examine this a bit more in-depth, but here's what it boils down to: Witches are vastly more powerful than vampires, werewolves, or Original Vampires. They're naturally immune to compulsion, they can hit vampires with a mind whammy that hurts them far more than vervain, novice witches can throw people around with their thoughts. And so on and so on.
As for werewolves: This has so far not even been hinted at in the show, but it is my personal belief that a werewolf bite is fatal to vampires because the witch who came up with the curse (when are we ever going to get around to hearing that story?) specifically made it that way. "Nature demands balance" and all that.
So yeah, long story short, witches are the bitches in charge.
Which is interesting, when you think about it. Vampires and werewolves have been around in Story for centuries and centuries, and they're basically nothing more and nothing less than metaphors for some of our most primal fears. Witches have been around even longer, in real life and in Story, and they were originally just people who knew things other people didn't. And yet, in almost every fictional universe you've ever heard of, they're the ones you go to when you need to stop vampires or werewolves or unspeakably evil forces who are older than time.
All I'm saying is, that's pretty cool.
2. The Humor
It doesn't happen very often, but occasionally, this show makes me drop everything and laugh so hard I fall out of my chair. Usually due to a deadpan line uttered by Caroline or (much less frequently than you would think) Damon. For example, that time in "Masquerade" (one of my favorite episodes, by the way) when he tells her to "skip the teen drama."
3. Vervain
Compared to Buffy, vampires on TVD are - I don't just want to say "more powerful" - FUCKING SCARY. They're so fast you'll never see them coming; they're so strong they can shatter your spine with two fingers; they can use MIND CONTROL on you (for example, to make you forget that they had sex with you and then drank your blood); if they've ever met a witch, chances are she's created a piece of jewelry that lets them walk around in the sunlight without bursting into flames; they almost instantly heal from things like being stabbed in the gut, and having their eyes gouged out only takes a few hours until they make a full recovery; they're not affected by holy water or garlic or religious symbols of any kind; and they're more or less impossible to kill.
So thank goodness they're so ridiculously susceptible to vervain.
Drink just a little of it and drinking your blood will debilitate them long enough for a stake to the heart.
Hold it in your hand, or wear a locket that contains a little, and they won't be able to compel you.
Dilute it in water and it basically turns into Vampire Acid.
Touch them with it and they burn.
Along with the whole invitation thing, this little herb is probably the only reason anyone in Mystic Falls can sleep without nightmares.
Best part? It ACTUALLY EXISTS. The writers did not make it up.
4. Caroline Forbes
When Bonnie's busy forgetting that she can move things with her mind (even though that's THE VERY FIRST THING SHE GOT THE HANG OF after finally learning about her heritage) and Elena's upset about her epic vampire romance love triangle woes (gag me with a spoon), she is always there to step up and say something awesome or do something awesome and make my soul do a happy dance.
Also.
I've loved her since that scene in the pilot, but my love for her really skyrockets during season two. I find it very interesting that becoming a vampire seemingly turns her into a better person.
Also-also, believe it or not, but I tend to hate vampires as a general sort of rule (drinking blood = icky). Caroline is hands-down my favorite vampire in all of fiction.
Also-also-also, I love how the writers felt the need to insert a vampire-werewolf love triangle into the show (because that's always so FASCINATING, am I right?) . . . but in this case, the vampire is the girl. The human is one of her would-be suitors.
And, speaking of romance . . .
5. Despite it being a "romance" show, pretty much every female character eventually becomes a total badass.
'Nuff said.
Elena deserves special mention, though. She finds out that her boyfriend is a vampire and becomes MORE capable of looking after herself. Remember that time, right after she figured everything out, when that crazy vampire attacked her at the school dance and she STABBED HIM WITH A PENCIL?
6. Music
There was a moment in the pilot where I threw up my hands and said (out loud), "Alright, that's it! I give up; I'll stop fighting; I LIKE THIS SHOW, OKAY?" That moment happened when one scene ended with "Kids" by MGMT playing in the background and the next scene started with "Running Up That Hill" by Placebo.
Since then, I have rarely heard a song that I'm familiar with, but I have frequently come across new songs I have to track down and listen to a thousand times because they are just that good. Examples include, but are in no way limited to . . .
"Help I'm Alive" - Metric
"Fire in Your New Shoes" - Kaskade featuring Martina of Dragonette
"Young Lovers" - Love Grenades (Sam Sparro Remix)
More later.
Much love,
Ryan
(Although, having said that, I started watching season one more than halfway through the original airing of season two; I went in knowing full well that Character A becomes a vampire, Character B and Character C hook up, etc. . . . and that did absolutely nothing to spoil my enjoyment. So I'm just saying.)
1. Supernatural Hierarchy
In the first two seasons, we meet vampires, witches, werewolves, Original Vampires, and ghosts.
Ghosts are a bit of a mystery, so let's focus on the other four.
Actually, you know, I was going to examine this a bit more in-depth, but here's what it boils down to: Witches are vastly more powerful than vampires, werewolves, or Original Vampires. They're naturally immune to compulsion, they can hit vampires with a mind whammy that hurts them far more than vervain, novice witches can throw people around with their thoughts. And so on and so on.
As for werewolves: This has so far not even been hinted at in the show, but it is my personal belief that a werewolf bite is fatal to vampires because the witch who came up with the curse (when are we ever going to get around to hearing that story?) specifically made it that way. "Nature demands balance" and all that.
So yeah, long story short, witches are the bitches in charge.
Which is interesting, when you think about it. Vampires and werewolves have been around in Story for centuries and centuries, and they're basically nothing more and nothing less than metaphors for some of our most primal fears. Witches have been around even longer, in real life and in Story, and they were originally just people who knew things other people didn't. And yet, in almost every fictional universe you've ever heard of, they're the ones you go to when you need to stop vampires or werewolves or unspeakably evil forces who are older than time.
All I'm saying is, that's pretty cool.
2. The Humor
It doesn't happen very often, but occasionally, this show makes me drop everything and laugh so hard I fall out of my chair. Usually due to a deadpan line uttered by Caroline or (much less frequently than you would think) Damon. For example, that time in "Masquerade" (one of my favorite episodes, by the way) when he tells her to "skip the teen drama."
3. Vervain
Compared to Buffy, vampires on TVD are - I don't just want to say "more powerful" - FUCKING SCARY. They're so fast you'll never see them coming; they're so strong they can shatter your spine with two fingers; they can use MIND CONTROL on you (for example, to make you forget that they had sex with you and then drank your blood); if they've ever met a witch, chances are she's created a piece of jewelry that lets them walk around in the sunlight without bursting into flames; they almost instantly heal from things like being stabbed in the gut, and having their eyes gouged out only takes a few hours until they make a full recovery; they're not affected by holy water or garlic or religious symbols of any kind; and they're more or less impossible to kill.
So thank goodness they're so ridiculously susceptible to vervain.
Drink just a little of it and drinking your blood will debilitate them long enough for a stake to the heart.
Hold it in your hand, or wear a locket that contains a little, and they won't be able to compel you.
Dilute it in water and it basically turns into Vampire Acid.
Touch them with it and they burn.
Along with the whole invitation thing, this little herb is probably the only reason anyone in Mystic Falls can sleep without nightmares.
Best part? It ACTUALLY EXISTS. The writers did not make it up.
4. Caroline Forbes
When Bonnie's busy forgetting that she can move things with her mind (even though that's THE VERY FIRST THING SHE GOT THE HANG OF after finally learning about her heritage) and Elena's upset about her epic vampire romance love triangle woes (gag me with a spoon), she is always there to step up and say something awesome or do something awesome and make my soul do a happy dance.
Also.
I've loved her since that scene in the pilot, but my love for her really skyrockets during season two. I find it very interesting that becoming a vampire seemingly turns her into a better person.
Also-also, believe it or not, but I tend to hate vampires as a general sort of rule (drinking blood = icky). Caroline is hands-down my favorite vampire in all of fiction.
Also-also-also, I love how the writers felt the need to insert a vampire-werewolf love triangle into the show (because that's always so FASCINATING, am I right?) . . . but in this case, the vampire is the girl. The human is one of her would-be suitors.
And, speaking of romance . . .
5. Despite it being a "romance" show, pretty much every female character eventually becomes a total badass.
'Nuff said.
Elena deserves special mention, though. She finds out that her boyfriend is a vampire and becomes MORE capable of looking after herself. Remember that time, right after she figured everything out, when that crazy vampire attacked her at the school dance and she STABBED HIM WITH A PENCIL?
6. Music
There was a moment in the pilot where I threw up my hands and said (out loud), "Alright, that's it! I give up; I'll stop fighting; I LIKE THIS SHOW, OKAY?" That moment happened when one scene ended with "Kids" by MGMT playing in the background and the next scene started with "Running Up That Hill" by Placebo.
Since then, I have rarely heard a song that I'm familiar with, but I have frequently come across new songs I have to track down and listen to a thousand times because they are just that good. Examples include, but are in no way limited to . . .
"Help I'm Alive" - Metric
"Fire in Your New Shoes" - Kaskade featuring Martina of Dragonette
"Young Lovers" - Love Grenades (Sam Sparro Remix)
More later.
Much love,
Ryan
Sunday, February 12, 2012
7 Bits of Buffy Headcanon
So I've been watching The Vampire Diaries a lot lately (and I mean A LOT - as I write this, I am waiting for the third episode of season three to download*), and it's got me thinking about Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Now, to be fair, there aren't a whole lot of things on this Earth that don't get me thinking about Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but The Vampire Diaries is an especially egregious example, as both shows contain healthy helpings of vampires, witches, werewolves,** girls who kick ass, and the ominous feeling that ABSOLUTELY ANYBODY CAN DIE AND THEY MIGHT OR MIGHT NOT COME BACK. Yes, even main characters!
So anyway. What in the world is "headcanon"? Basically, it's, um, canon that happens in your head. It may outright contradict actual canon (for example, you may wish to pretend that a certain episode or a certain scene never happened); it may, technically, "work" within established canon (for example, Darla could have totally been a Slayer - think about it), but the actual writers have never officially confirmed it, and probably never will.
I do hope that made sense. Canon for a TV show is usually much more difficult to pin down than it is for a book or a book series - if J. K. Rowling says that only wizards and witches can become ghosts, then that's the way it is; if Damon spends the first few episodes affecting the weather and using a creepy crow as his harbinger, but the writers later decide not to do that anymore, then . . . okay.
Anyway. Buffy. As anyone who's known me for longer than two and a half seconds can tell you, it's my favorite TV show of all time. I've been obsessed with it for about a decade now, and there are MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY things that were never addressed because, well, there's only so much time to explore things in a 144-episode series, and so much of that time is taken up by a) saving the world from unspeakably evil forces or b) the horror that is growing up or c) both of these things at the same time that fans like myself have plenty of room to play around and let our imaginations wander.
Sooo yeah, that's why we're here.
7 Bits of Buffy Headcanon
1. Xander's parents were verbally abusive.
Sadly, this is just shy of being out-and-out canon. We never actually get to spend too much time with them (although, now that I think about it, did we finally get to meet them in season six? It's been quite a while since I sat down and actually watched the series for any length of time), mostly hear them holler at him from the top of the stairs, but the signs are definitely there: They are not nice people. They're not exactly Vernon and Petunia Dursley, but they have treated him like crap. It's amazing that he grew up to be such a good person.
(If you want proof of this one, watch "Restless" and pay attention to his dream.)
2. When Oz came back in "New Moon Rising," he lost control because Willow was with someone else - NOT because she was with a girl.
Apparently, he went off to learn how to repress his wolf side and convinced himself that she'd just be keeping her legs crossed and waiting for him to come back to her INDEFINITELY even though he never so much as called her.
(Also, you know, when he reveals that he has learned how to stop himself from transforming, he says something about how she's probably stopped paying attention to when the moon is full.
Right.
Because that's not at all interesting to a witch.)
All of that being said, believe it or not, but: Oz is actually one of my favorite characters. I was (obviously) psyched when Willow and Tara got together, but I genuinely felt bad for him when he came back and was clearly still in love with her; my reaction was something along the lines of GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW AND HOW TRAGICALLY DELICIOUS IT IS.
3. In the first episode of season six, when Dawn tells Spike that she's not the Key anymore, she's wrong.
Just because, with Glory out of everyone's hair, it would be pretty cool if Buffy's annoying kid sister had the power to unlock portals between dimensions.
And hey, speaking of Glory . . .
4. Giles never told anyone about killing Ben.
Which I mention mostly because, in the commentary for "Lies My Parents Told Me," David Fury says that he considered having him tell Buffy in that episode, but decided not to because, since it takes place a season and a half after the fact, he figured no one would care.
Which I heard and went, "Are you kidding me?! That scene would be awesome!"
5. Witches cannot be turned into vampires, and
6. Witch blood is debilitating to vampires. It will, in fact, burn them from the inside out if they drink it (much like holy water).
Mostly just because these would be cool.
We never got to find out for sure, though, because no vampire ever tried either of them*** - basically, attacking a witch who's grown into her power is a really good way for a vampire to commit suicide.
7. Willow was not supposed to happen.
Let me explain . . .
When we meet her in the pilot, Willow is a shy, awkward, bookish girl who (along with Xander) quickly becomes Buffy's best friend. In the last episode of the series, she casts a spell to turn every Potential in the world into a Slayer. That shouldn't be possible, and she herself doesn't think she'll be able to do it.
Basically, after her power surge in the last half of season five, Willow Rosenberg quickly becomes one of the most powerful forces in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer universe (which probably should not come as a huge surprise to an attentive viewer, considering that her first foray into witchcraft was to restore a vampire's soul****): She's the only person who doesn't need a divine weapon to hurt Glory, WHO IS A LITERAL GOD; she brings Buffy back from the dead*****; she nearly destroys the world after Tara is killed; and The First Evil (who is basically the closest thing to Satan we ever got on this show) tries to convince her to kill herself because his plan would be much easier to accomplish with her out of the way.
But, as I say, she was not supposed to happen.
On Buffy, we got to meet several witches, but the only two who we got to know nearly as well as Willow, Amy and Tara, both inherited the craft from their mothers. Willow did not, and that is why I think she was an accident. I mean, living in Sunnydale, anybody with half an inkling can attract the attention of otherworldly forces without meaning to, so it's quite easy to be a "Wanna Blessed Be" - but, as Amy points out in season seven, it doesn't matter how hard natural witches like herself study and study and study: Willow has the kind of power the rest of them dream about. And she makes using it look easy.
Why?
The way I see it, her power has something to do with Buffy. She first did magic in the last episode of season two, and kept studying it in season three, but she didn't really start to become ridiculously powerful until after the penultimate episode of season four, when she and Giles and Xander joined their essences with Buffy's. A witch had never joined herself with a Slayer before, and that did something. I don't know. Maybe the Powers That Be had some idea what Buffy was going to do by the end of the series and figured she would need some extra protection. Maybe Willow is like Tiffany Aching - not born with a knack for witchcraft, but she found it and made it work for her, and had a lot of power because she needed it. I'm not sure. All I know for sure is that Willow went from being the most vulnerable character on the show to being (arguably) a demi-goddess . . . and she wouldn't have gotten there without Buffy.
Okay, that's all I've got for now.
You may be wondering why, if I've been watching it so damn much lately, I'm not writing about The Vampire Diaries. All I can tell you is, don't you worry.
More later. Much love,
Ryan
*How the hell did I ever survive without iTunes? Heh.
**Interestingly, both shows introduce us to vampires, witches, and werewolves IN THAT ORDER.
***I know, I know, Spike tried to drink Willow's blood on more than one occasion - but not after he got his chip, which was before she really started to get powerful.
****Which, as you may recall, had only ever happened once before in the history of vampires - and she was the only human who ever did it a) by herself or b) TWICE.
*****As I said before, Willow and Xander both become Buffy's best friends in the very first episode. So it's pretty interesting that, both times she's died trying to save the world, one of them has brought her back to life.
Now, to be fair, there aren't a whole lot of things on this Earth that don't get me thinking about Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but The Vampire Diaries is an especially egregious example, as both shows contain healthy helpings of vampires, witches, werewolves,** girls who kick ass, and the ominous feeling that ABSOLUTELY ANYBODY CAN DIE AND THEY MIGHT OR MIGHT NOT COME BACK. Yes, even main characters!
So anyway. What in the world is "headcanon"? Basically, it's, um, canon that happens in your head. It may outright contradict actual canon (for example, you may wish to pretend that a certain episode or a certain scene never happened); it may, technically, "work" within established canon (for example, Darla could have totally been a Slayer - think about it), but the actual writers have never officially confirmed it, and probably never will.
I do hope that made sense. Canon for a TV show is usually much more difficult to pin down than it is for a book or a book series - if J. K. Rowling says that only wizards and witches can become ghosts, then that's the way it is; if Damon spends the first few episodes affecting the weather and using a creepy crow as his harbinger, but the writers later decide not to do that anymore, then . . . okay.
Anyway. Buffy. As anyone who's known me for longer than two and a half seconds can tell you, it's my favorite TV show of all time. I've been obsessed with it for about a decade now, and there are MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY things that were never addressed because, well, there's only so much time to explore things in a 144-episode series, and so much of that time is taken up by a) saving the world from unspeakably evil forces or b) the horror that is growing up or c) both of these things at the same time that fans like myself have plenty of room to play around and let our imaginations wander.
Sooo yeah, that's why we're here.
7 Bits of Buffy Headcanon
1. Xander's parents were verbally abusive.
Sadly, this is just shy of being out-and-out canon. We never actually get to spend too much time with them (although, now that I think about it, did we finally get to meet them in season six? It's been quite a while since I sat down and actually watched the series for any length of time), mostly hear them holler at him from the top of the stairs, but the signs are definitely there: They are not nice people. They're not exactly Vernon and Petunia Dursley, but they have treated him like crap. It's amazing that he grew up to be such a good person.
(If you want proof of this one, watch "Restless" and pay attention to his dream.)
2. When Oz came back in "New Moon Rising," he lost control because Willow was with someone else - NOT because she was with a girl.
Apparently, he went off to learn how to repress his wolf side and convinced himself that she'd just be keeping her legs crossed and waiting for him to come back to her INDEFINITELY even though he never so much as called her.
(Also, you know, when he reveals that he has learned how to stop himself from transforming, he says something about how she's probably stopped paying attention to when the moon is full.
Right.
Because that's not at all interesting to a witch.)
All of that being said, believe it or not, but: Oz is actually one of my favorite characters. I was (obviously) psyched when Willow and Tara got together, but I genuinely felt bad for him when he came back and was clearly still in love with her; my reaction was something along the lines of GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW AND HOW TRAGICALLY DELICIOUS IT IS.
3. In the first episode of season six, when Dawn tells Spike that she's not the Key anymore, she's wrong.
Just because, with Glory out of everyone's hair, it would be pretty cool if Buffy's annoying kid sister had the power to unlock portals between dimensions.
And hey, speaking of Glory . . .
4. Giles never told anyone about killing Ben.
Which I mention mostly because, in the commentary for "Lies My Parents Told Me," David Fury says that he considered having him tell Buffy in that episode, but decided not to because, since it takes place a season and a half after the fact, he figured no one would care.
Which I heard and went, "Are you kidding me?! That scene would be awesome!"
5. Witches cannot be turned into vampires, and
6. Witch blood is debilitating to vampires. It will, in fact, burn them from the inside out if they drink it (much like holy water).
Mostly just because these would be cool.
We never got to find out for sure, though, because no vampire ever tried either of them*** - basically, attacking a witch who's grown into her power is a really good way for a vampire to commit suicide.
7. Willow was not supposed to happen.
Let me explain . . .
When we meet her in the pilot, Willow is a shy, awkward, bookish girl who (along with Xander) quickly becomes Buffy's best friend. In the last episode of the series, she casts a spell to turn every Potential in the world into a Slayer. That shouldn't be possible, and she herself doesn't think she'll be able to do it.
Basically, after her power surge in the last half of season five, Willow Rosenberg quickly becomes one of the most powerful forces in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer universe (which probably should not come as a huge surprise to an attentive viewer, considering that her first foray into witchcraft was to restore a vampire's soul****): She's the only person who doesn't need a divine weapon to hurt Glory, WHO IS A LITERAL GOD; she brings Buffy back from the dead*****; she nearly destroys the world after Tara is killed; and The First Evil (who is basically the closest thing to Satan we ever got on this show) tries to convince her to kill herself because his plan would be much easier to accomplish with her out of the way.
But, as I say, she was not supposed to happen.
On Buffy, we got to meet several witches, but the only two who we got to know nearly as well as Willow, Amy and Tara, both inherited the craft from their mothers. Willow did not, and that is why I think she was an accident. I mean, living in Sunnydale, anybody with half an inkling can attract the attention of otherworldly forces without meaning to, so it's quite easy to be a "Wanna Blessed Be" - but, as Amy points out in season seven, it doesn't matter how hard natural witches like herself study and study and study: Willow has the kind of power the rest of them dream about. And she makes using it look easy.
Why?
The way I see it, her power has something to do with Buffy. She first did magic in the last episode of season two, and kept studying it in season three, but she didn't really start to become ridiculously powerful until after the penultimate episode of season four, when she and Giles and Xander joined their essences with Buffy's. A witch had never joined herself with a Slayer before, and that did something. I don't know. Maybe the Powers That Be had some idea what Buffy was going to do by the end of the series and figured she would need some extra protection. Maybe Willow is like Tiffany Aching - not born with a knack for witchcraft, but she found it and made it work for her, and had a lot of power because she needed it. I'm not sure. All I know for sure is that Willow went from being the most vulnerable character on the show to being (arguably) a demi-goddess . . . and she wouldn't have gotten there without Buffy.
Okay, that's all I've got for now.
You may be wondering why, if I've been watching it so damn much lately, I'm not writing about The Vampire Diaries. All I can tell you is, don't you worry.
More later. Much love,
Ryan
*How the hell did I ever survive without iTunes? Heh.
**Interestingly, both shows introduce us to vampires, witches, and werewolves IN THAT ORDER.
***I know, I know, Spike tried to drink Willow's blood on more than one occasion - but not after he got his chip, which was before she really started to get powerful.
****Which, as you may recall, had only ever happened once before in the history of vampires - and she was the only human who ever did it a) by herself or b) TWICE.
*****As I said before, Willow and Xander both become Buffy's best friends in the very first episode. So it's pretty interesting that, both times she's died trying to save the world, one of them has brought her back to life.
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