Friday, July 26, 2013

Quoteage: 33 Reasons I Will Always, Always, Always Love Gilmore Girls

[NOTE: Although I have seen every single episode multiple-multiple times, it's been more than a year since I actually sat down and watched the show. I did not Google any of these quotes before writing them up, so they might not be precisely verbatim.]

1. "Not in front of the books, Lane!"

2. "People are particularly stupid today; I can't talk to any more of them."

3. "If you're lucky, like I was, you'll only have to do it once."

4. "You're way deep in my Bogus Bag, and it's Ziplocked shut."

5. "When a woman gives birth to a crack baby, you do not buy her a puppy."

6. "Why are you throwing cutlery in a public place?"
    "Because I'd feel stupid doing it at home."

7. "Don't cows eat grass?"

8. "He's sleeping with the zucchini."

9. "Maybe if we concentrate, our combined psychic powers will somehow move it closer."
    "I don't think it's working."
    "It's my fault; I'm not focusing."

10. "I thought you were trying to save on electricity, very prudent."

11. "All I'm saying is, sometimes eating a walnut is preferable to getting hacked to death or set on fire during dinner."
      "One of these days I'm going to make you eat in your room."

12. "I ate the fuzzy Certs. They tasted like keys."

13. "Lactose and me are bros!"

14. "I'm gonna grab somebody by the neck and squeeze until brains ooze out of their ears."

15. "Oh, Ann hates me."

16. "Norman Mailer, I'm pregnant!"

17. "Don't give me lip!"

18. "Have I ever been mistaken for a patient person?"

19. "That's me, the perfect storm of genetics and caffeine."

20. "At times like these, you get to thinking about what's really important in life. [beat] I'm so glad I had all that sex."

21. "Were we not supposed to do that?"
      "Maybe no one noticed."

22. "Well, Deb, I'd say, Deb, that the real tragedy here, Deb, is that you all seem to use the same awful hairdresser, Deb."

23. "You know what's fun to talk about? Late check-out."

24. "Don't get engaged."

25. "This is bigger than your love of pink!"

26. "'Green is the new pink?'"
      "It's stupid."

27. "I'm trying to kick you, but I can't reach!"

28. "He's a produce man. They'll never find the body, but the squash will be especially chatty that year."

29. "This is what you look like right after you wake up?"
      "Nothing in my life is fair."

30. "I'm gonna go make out in the coat room - don't eat my chicken."

31. "No one touch anyone in any funny places unless specifically asked."

32. "Can we hold hands and skip afterward?"

33. "Will you just shut up a minute?"

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