Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Eleven Things I Want to See in Season Four of The Vampire Diaries

WARNING: If you haven't already seen "Departed," the finale of season three, this post contains major spoilers.

1. Somebody --- absolutely anybody, but Rebekah might make the most dramatic sense --- finally kills Klaus.
    To be clear, I think Klaus was a great villain.
    "Was" being the operative word in that sentence.
    In season one, the closest thing we got to a Big Bad was Katherine. In season two, we found out that most of the horrible things she did had less to do with the fact that she's an evil bitch (and, as a vampire, a complete badass who is also, you know, a cold-blooded killer and kind of a sociopath) and more to do with her desire to stay away from Klaus, "the oldest vampire in the history of time." Who was after Elena and determined to get to her, no matter who he had to kill on the way. And that was a good time (well, a good time for the audience; for the characters, not so much).
    But then came season three, when it got pretty clear that someone (read: everyone) on the writing staff was in love with Klaus, to such an extent that he is (directly or indirectly) the source of just about every conflict for every other character for the entire season.
    Which is all well and good, but . . . well, if you've seen the season finale, you're either giddy about the possibilities or, like me, just fucking over it.

    Unfortunately, this is not going to happen. I'm pretty sure I've read at least one article about how Joseph Morgan will still be part of the cast. With this in mind, I offer an alternative:

1a. Bonnie puts Klaus back in his own body, but messes with his memories.

    She doesn't have to give him complete amnesia (although that would be awesome to watch, wouldn't it?). She could just, for example, make him deathly afraid of ever messing with Elena again (not that he has any real use for her now that she's a vampire --- which, by the way, means that the Petrova line is ended and there will never ever be another doppelganger, ever --- but when has Klaus ever let a little thing like logic stand between him and murder?).

2. We finally get to meet someone supernatural who is not a vampire, a witch, a werewolf, a ghost, an Original Vampire, a vampire-werewolf hybrid, a doppelganger, or a medium.
    I'd really love it --- I mean, REALLY love it --- if we could meet a wicked fairy. (You know, kind of like Maleficent?) She could be a shapeshifter. Just for starters.

3. We finally get to meet a character who is a) not American and b) not a villain.

    'Nuff said.

4. For the first six or seven episodes, Elena hates being a vampire.
    This would actually make a lot of sense, given her reaction when Damon and Stefan suggested turning her as a way to protect her from Klaus in season two. Also, it would be great if a) Caroline is the one who eventually convinces her that it's not all bad and b) someone makes a joke that, hey, at least now everybody else doesn't have to protect her all the time.

5. Elena hates Damon.
    You know, because now she'll know that he compelled her to forget that they actually met a few hours before her parents died and has been lying to her (and everyone else) about this ever since then?
    I mean, I kind of sort of want them to end up together someday, but he needs to
earn it. Yeah, yeah, he's come a long way since season one, but he's still willing to do things like kill her best friend's long-lost mother in order to "protect" her, and . . . that's gotta stop.
    Also, it would be great if their reconciliation comes about because someone tries to kill him (which, let's face it, is not exactly a stretch) in the woods or something, and she can either leave him there or use her newfound superstrength to save them both.
    And then they can make out in the rain, and everything will be deliciously, wonderfully cheesy. Until the next episode.

6. Bonnie's new attitude does not dissolve overnight.
    In the season three finale (which, by the way, is one of the best episodes in the entire freaking series), Bonnie --- who, up to this point, has spent basically the whole series either being afraid of her own magic or seriously reluctant to use it because she might accidentally hurt someone --- defiantly tells Klaus, "Spirits don't get to tell me what to do anymore. I'm done getting pushed around by all of you. I did it because I wanted to."
    This scene, which is something I've been waiting to see since practically forever, gave me chills.
    I'm kind of expecting her to go back to never doing any magic unless she's pushed into it (well, okay, she wasn't quite that bad. But very nearly) as soon as the new season starts, and can I please be wrong?

7. Caroline and Tyler break up.
    Nothing against Tyler --- who, quite obviously, is one of the hottest guys in Mystic Falls --- but I've found him dreadfully boring ever since he was turned into a hybrid. I mean, I don't fall asleep whenever he's in a scene or anything as bad as that, but . . . well, I just don't think he has quite enough whatever-it-is to keep dating my favorite vampire in all of fiction.
    Also, this could lead to . . .

8. Caroline and Bonnie fall in love.
    I know, I know. They've both been established as firmly heterosexual since the pilot, and who wants to see yet another series make two of its most prominent female characters "go lesbian" just for the hell of it?
    But actually, when you think about it, this could make perfect sense.
    Bonnie's exact age hasn't been spelled out, but she's either seventeen or eighteen. Caroline celebrated her eighteenth birthday in episode 3x11, but she'll technically be seventeen forever. And, let's face it, seventeen or eighteen is a time when quite a lot of people begin to question their sexuality, yes?
    (Furthermore: This isn't something that's ever been mentioned canonically, but I tend to think that it's silly for vampires --- in any media, not just this show --- to identify as gay or straight or bi or anything. I mean, they're basically just big metaphors for sex sex sex, sooo wouldn't it make more sense for them to be attracted to anyone with a pulse, regardless of gender?)

8a. Caroline falls for Bonnie, who does not reciprocate.

    Or the other way around. Who doesn't enjoy a little unrequited love?

9. Now that she's a vampire, Elena finds Stefan totally boring.

    Because, well, duh.

10. Caroline becomes Stefan's "new Lexi."
    Oh wait, this is actually supposed to happen!
    . . . Which kind of makes something like absolutely no sense, what with Caroline still being a "baby" vampire, but WHO CARES? She's awesome! And it's been firmly established that Stefan has a serious problem with drinking human blood, so he really does need someone in his life who isn't afraid to give him some tough love and, if necessary, be a total bitch every time he even thinks about it.
    And occasionally get violent.
    And, come on, how cool would it be if that someone was Caroline?
    So actually, it sort of makes perfect sense.
    Well done, writers.

11. Elena kills Katherine.
    She may not be nearly as much of a threat as Klaus, but she's still wicked dangerous, and . . . well, it would just be really cool. I don't even know what else to say.

11a. Bonnie kills Katherine --- from a distance, because she can do things like that with magic --- and, just to be mean, makes her think she's dying by Elena's hand.
    Actually, I sort of hope this doesn't happen.
    Because my freaking brain might freaking explode from all the awesome.

How many days until October 11th?

1 comment:

  1. Did you know I stalk you? (read: love you.)