Monday, April 9, 2012

"Be Your Own Hero"

Hey, remember how I originally started this blog to talk about dealing with depression?

. . . Yeah.

So today I went to the doctor (a "normal" doctor, not a "head" doctor; reasons are none of your business), which was somewhat scary -- having anything medical done at any time always seems to convince me that, whoops, I'm Patient Zero for the disease we'll discover if we ever cure cancer -- but then, once I actually got there, something wonderful happened.

You know how, any time you go to the doctor for anything, they can't get down to the reason you're actually there until they've asked a zillion and one preliminary questions about any time you've ever gone to any doctor in your entire life?

This visit was no exception!

DOCTOR: So do you have any other existing health concerns I should know about?
ME: We-ell, yes, I have been diagnosed with depression.
DOCTOR: Are you currently in treatment?
ME: Not at the moment, no, but I did go to therapy last year.

You guys, seriously, she was so proud of me for going to therapy that I half-expected her to jump out of her chair and do a happy dance. That didn't happen, but we did have a fairly excited mini-conversation about how entering therapy meant I had to stop drinking, and I decided to keep up my sobriety after therapy for a grand total of one hundred days. We talked about how I had figured out that, for me personally, not reading anything for more than two weeks is probably a sign that something bad is going on in my brain. And so on and so forth. I'm not describing this very well because I'm still excited (also, I'm so hungry I'm sort of dizzy), but . . .

. . . okay, so my point here is "just" that I'm so proud of myself. I can't even begin to wrap my head around how much my life sucked this time last year, and how awesome it is now, and how that change is entirely my fault.

Imagine how awesome my life will probably be a year from now if I keep this up.

Try not to get dizzy.

1 comment:


    I am so, so proud of you, Sir Ryan!! <3